This is my first time writing. So please forgive my tardiness if any
I lost my husband June the year after a illness with mentally health. He had never suffered anything before hand then October last year he began with anxiety then being led to depression. When we thought he was finding his way back he unfortunately took his own life.
The pain and shock can be unbearable. The trauma of the suicide and the loss of someone who I loved dearly and was loved by many.
I guess I’m wondering if anyone else on this site has been through similar. Im looking for as much support as possible during this time. Nights and mornings are often the worst. Reading some people stories i know im not alone in grieving.
Dear Lyn I am sorry to hear about your husband. There have been many people here with similar situations. I find that it’s often a good idea to look through older posts to read how people have coped in the past. You must be going through an awful lot of pain at the moment and I hope you have plenty of support from friends and family. My wife died after two years of cancer treatments and I thought I was prepared for the worst but the pain was unbearable when she came to die in my arms. It felt as if I was being ripped apart. The pain evolved over time and after two or three months things improve but the huge void left after losing my wife is still there. I hope you find some solace here where everyone understands the pain of a bereavement. Wishing you all the best Tom
Hello Lyn03, I’m so very sorry you’ve lost your dear husband. I lost my son after many years of mental health difficulties, and I know just how absolutely heartbreaking and devastating this kind of loss can be.
I contacted Mind after my loss and was put in touch with a support worker who helps people who have lost a loved one through suicide. That support honestly helped me get through the first year.
My support worker met with me each week and listened without judgement. There were times when I couldn’t even speak, and they would simply sit with me and keep me company. They were also able to talk me through the inquest process, which I found incredibly difficult.
It’s such a traumatic way to lose someone. I developed PTSD afterwards, although at the time I didn’t even recognise what was happening to me. The service referred me to NHS talking therapy for my PTSD which is now more manageable.
Please be kind and gentle with yourself. It’s okay if all you can do some days is get through the day and manage the very bare minimum.
Thank you so much for that kind message. Its sad to know someone else is suffering loss the same way but also support to know your not alone
I have just started yo recive talking therapy which i will recive weekly. I was put in contact with a charity for people who have been effected by suicide but unfortunately I didn’t feel like they were much support. Mind sounds more prepared for such things.
Smaritains definitely saved myself in the early weeks. Its good to hear you are receiving help and I pray you are managing life a little better
Thank you again for reaching out it means a lot. Some people struggle when you tell them you’re loved one died of suicide
Hi Lyn03, I know exactly what you mean. I think sometimes people just don’t know what to say when you tell them your loved one died by suicide, and their discomfort can make you feel even more alone.
Our loved ones were so much more than the way they died. They were people who were loved, who laughed, made memories, had hopes, personalities and so many little things that made them who they were.
I think one of the things that hurts most is when people become uncomfortable and don’t want to talk about them. Sometimes all we need is for someone to listen, say their name and remember that they were here and that they mattered.
Thank you for them kind words. People who new my husband seen the change in his personality when he became depressed. It’s the people who didn’t know or see him i worry they will judge.
Someone said to me it was his choice. But they don’t understand.
