I’m new to this, it’s taken me nearly 3 months nearly 4 months to get advice from anyone. I haven’t been dealing well with the recent loss of my pregnancy. I am a young mum as it is, I had my first son at 14, I fell pregnant again at 16 with a different guy who manipulated me into terminating the pregnant and now at 19 I had a miscarriage so I’m kinda dealing with both of the losses. I never really spoke about the second pregnancy after it happened and everyone thought I was fine when I really wasn’t. I self harmed and the guilt felt so bad I wanted to end it all but then I felt more guilty for wanted to end it BC of my son, I love him to bits and it’s him that has kept me hear for so long. After the second pregnancy I got into a new relationship with a different guy who turned out to be abusive and made me feel like I couldn’t leave for 2 years. Now I am safe and my current partner is the greatest. I took pregnancy tests which all came back negative and it was because of how early it was, I had all the symptoms of pregnancy. I had the same ones as the other pregnancies, we was under a lot of stress bc of this other couple weeks was friends with but they just wanted to break us up and I ended up bleeding a lot. I knew something wasn’t right bc it wasn’t anything like my periods. I dealt with it alone most the time BC my partner was working all day and coming home late. He puts on a strong face but he does admit that he misses the baby too. Sometimes i don’t cry but when I do I can’t stop so he tells me to stop crying before I end up sick or giving myself a headache BC I can’t calm down. He is supporting me in anyway he can but we haven’t told many family members, the only one who knows is my sister in law. We wanted to wait for the right time to tell family and friends but it never came unfortunately.
Yasmin, I am so sorry that you are grieving 2 babies now, but so happy that you have a little fella to make you happy.
I am sorry that you suffered a miscarriage.
You are too young to have so much on your plate. To me, you are just a baby yourself. It hurts me to read that you are suffering so.
I hope you went to the hospital. Yes?
It will be okay. You will be okay.
Much love.
Hello Yasmin
I can see that you’re new to the community. I hope you find it to be a support to you, but I am so sorry for the loss of your babies that brings you here.
It sounds like your grief feels overwhelming right now. I wanted to share some sources of support that might help you right now.
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Sands - Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society have lots of support on their website.
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Tommy’s support anyone with the loss of a baby. They have a helpline on 0800 0147 800 or email midwife@tommys.org. They also have a baby loss support Facebook group.
Sue Ryder also has some resources which can help you cope with grief.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care, Rhi
Hi Yasmin X I recently found peace after years of not discussing with anyone the loss of twins at 3 months pregnancy and a single also at the same duration 4 years before. In between I carried twins and was extremely sick and was in hospital for most of my pregnancy until they were born. I nearly lost my daughter at birth and both were born with disabilities, so I truly understand your pain xx I found peace in acknowledging them, first to myself and later to nearest and dearest X I’m 60 now, I never forgot them and never will xx 
it’s taken a long time x For me i felt to name them as to who I believed them to be, it didn’t matter what anyone else thought. It was my way of celebrating their lives and the short time we shared together. I found completion in doing this, even at first only to myself. It was my way of acknowledging their existence and part of my family. It released a burden I didn’t realise I was carrying. The way noone wants to talk about the children unborn made me feel ashamed of what wasn’t my fault or theirs. The unspoken stuff of life. I found freedom, peace and joy in the sadness by acknowledging my angel babies xxx it’s not the answer for everyone but may help in a small way xx big hugs xx
Hey, thank you for sharing 
my partner and I nicknamed the baby Bean. I have looked into getting a cuddle teddy bunny that I can personalize to have both my angel babies names on. I had a gut feeling that it was going to be a boy. My other angle baby I was going to call Ashley and it gives me a little peace of mind to know that bean isn’t alone in the sky. I’m not religious but I like to think that they are looking after eachother while looking down at their big brother being proud of him. I didn’t get a gut feeling for an actual name for bean unlike my other two kids, we was hoping for a girl but I had a feeling it was a boy so we’re definitely going to figure out a name before I get that teddy personalised. I am getting my partner a keychain saying “Daddy of an angel” since he prefers smaller gifts.
I was so stressed when it was happening and completely forgot about booking a hospital appointment. I ended up staying in bed but I have been keeping an eye on myself inc case I get any other medical issues.