After 2 and a half years …I have decided that it doesn’t get easier…just your definition of ‘easier’ changes…whatever that means…coz after sitting here reflecting…it doesn’t feel ‘easier’…but I guess it’s different than 2 and a half years ago…or 2 years ago…or 18 months ago…ect…ect…but if you asked me now…I’d say it’s harder… increasingly 
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I completely agree. It was 1 year ago yesterday my husband passed away and in many ways it’s harder now than when he first died. The thought of another year and another and another without him terrifies me. Other people have moved on and I feel like I’m going backwards. It’s indescribable to others isn’t it
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I think year 2 has gotten easier for me, but it’s still very hard. When you lose your life partner, it changes everything forever. All you are really doing is trying to cope w/ a situation that is sometimes nearly impossible to digest and cope with. My perspective anyway.
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@Nancy123 i agree, i am over the fact he died 3 yrs ago but now i have to do everything myself, there is no one to help or speak to about things, thats the hardest part, whether its money, health, house whatever
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After 2 and half years since I don’t cry every day like at first. But I have less energy than I did at first so I did more.
Now I find ig harder to get it all done as obviously older. More people have died.
I wanted to find a companion but it never gets off the ground.
I miss someone just to go out to places with. I have had a few trips with family and friends. But mostly I have got used to going solo.
I just force myself to go to places and just do whatever it is on my own. Sometimes people chat and sometimes not.
Like I have a bench by my husbands grave. There is a nice friendly cat who comes over sometimes. Occasionally someone else is there. I joined the choir so opportunities there. I go to a monthly lunch club. Attend courses because it is something to do.
Do a lot online over zoom eg courses (yoga, creative writing, fellowship group).
Have facebook friends message. Neighbours chat while they walk their dog sometimes. I do sketching on holiday alone.
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Yes, exactly how I feel. Everything is by yourself trying to figure things out. Can be exhausting.
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11 days since my partner passed away…Will the pain go away one day? And I miss him so much, it physically hurts.
Pain subsides but loneliness still there unless you find someone to take it away. Some do but luck of draw really.
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@justynap87
It’s very early and raw for you after just 11 days…
I’m 12 weeks in and it is a little easier but each day can bring tears or no tears. There’s no rhyme or reason to it.
At first it’s disbelief but after 7 weeks for me it’s sunk in that John has really gone.
I have had just horrible days like everyone else where I could scream n I’ve cried all day. My head wasn’t in a good place with no logical thinking…I had to see my doctor because I felt ill. Can’t describe how I felt but just ill.
This week I have made a pact with myself that I will not cry after 9 am. Whether it happens is something else.
Just take each day as it comes at first and be kind to yourself and keep coming on here…it does help…
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Thank you and I’m very sorry for your loss. I cry everyday and just trying to get through the day. Evenings and morningsbb are the worst for me, this was always time for us… Put a tv show on, have a good laugh, talk and just be here for each other 
My whole body is so tense, I stared to eat a little bit more and also book an appointment with my doctor. I don’t think I can do it without professional help.
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@justynap87
Mornings the worst time for me.
I have found I avoid looking at Johns photo and I’ve had to change the wallpaper on my mobile from him to bees…
I can’t read our texts which go back to 2022.
I could at first but not now but hopefully in time I will again…
It’s a rollercoaster and dreadful journey we are all on…x
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I removed already his toiletries from the view in the bathroom because I was spraying his perfume. First I thought it will make everything easier but it was opposite.
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@justynap87
These feelings are so very strange but it’s the first time we’ve gone through this trauma
I used to smell John’s aftershave in the bottle but now I can’t. At first I wanted everything of his around me but bit by bit I’ve put things away and then feel guilty
I’m wondering if it’s because it’s just too painful and we are trying to block it out until we are ready. There is too much going on in our heads and too much to process.
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Exactly, maybe we keep those things because we are worried about forgetting them at some point? I really don’t know, and not sure what to do with his clothes, not now because it’s too soon, but I don’t want him to think he is being evicted from our home. Honestly I have so many questions to him etc. I would never ever imagine that I will be in this situation. Ahhh miss him so much, I talk to him everyday.
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@justynap87
It’s very very early for you my darling…after 11 days you will have barely acknowledged he has gone…
Take it an hour or even a minute at a time just now and be kind to yourself…
Keep coming on here because people are helpful and are going through the various stages of grief…x
Try hard to be positive and brave but despair it will ever get easier. The realisation of how permanent this feeling is, knowing that anything cause the tears to well. It’s been ten months now since I lost my darling husband of fifty five years. The future seems so bleak. Yes family are supportive as are friends but inside I hurt so much. Don’t want our life defined by his awful death but struggle. Physically and mentally ache all the time.
Sorry to have such a moan. Wish you all well in your various hurts.
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Completely get that. I’m a little over 2 and a half years in and I also see that things have changed but I wouldn’t go as far as saying easier - just a different hurt. Now I’m finding carrying on day to day exhausting just trying to find things to do that will keep my mind occupied and distracted.
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Thank you for responding Wisteria, I just wish I didn’t feel so exhausted all the time, lots I could do but no energy. Preoccupied with my own thoughts. This isn’t really me and I don’t really like who I’ve become. Don’t seem able to find away out of how I feel. Just miss my husband so much.
Take care.
Nancy123
Loneliness is so hard.
Three weeks since my last post.
Fininished an anxiety course online but seem to forget what I learnt when it’s over.
Suspect it is still grief even though 2 and half years since my husband died.
I t is to motivate myself. My school friend is dying and lives miles away. I cant travel and just been sending cards .
Get updates. Haven’t seen her for years.
It is hard.
I feel life is tough.
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