Thanks Bab1,
Sending a hug back x
Dear Hainey
I am so sorry to hear of your loss and I do understand just how you are feeling because I feel the same . I lost my husband 8 months ago and I feel utterly lost, abandoned and alone, it is my first Easter without him. I cry every day and nothing makes it better. This lockdown is awful for those of us who are living alone. I wish I could go to sleep and not wake up. My son and daughter live miles away. Those people who are living with their families do not get it. Sending love and comfort Barbara
Hi Barbara, I am so sorry you are having to suffer this horrendous loss. It is the absolute blackest hole, with no ladder out for me so far.
I think having to be on our own just now is proving very difficult. I have done a lot of crying lately too, more than before this plague happened, and that was bad enough. Just being on here has shown me that there are lots of people in the same position as we are in, somehow that has given me a small crumb of comfort, hope maybe you can find a little peace too just to think that when you or I, are crying, screaming, longing for some physical contact, with our loved one preferably though impossible, there are others at the exact same minute grieving and going through the same feelings of hopelessness and sadness as we are.
I had a particularly bad day yesterday because it was 42 weeks since I had heard David’s voice and in another 10 weeks it will be a year. A year, how can that have happened? I feel like it was yesterday. My happy, handsome very fit husband of 53 years been gone a year. No, no, no, don’t want to believe that but the dates are there.
I send you love, a big hug and hope that when you waken up tomorrow you will find the strength to get through another day. Sheer hell I know but just one more day, then one more day.
You take care, I hope you can read some of the other posts here too xx
Dear Hainey,
Thank you so much for your reply, it helped me calm down a little. I know what you mean about how can a year have gone by. My John died on 30 July and I am dreading that anniversary. My life has changed from being wonderfully happy to devastation and I shall never be at peace again. All I do is cry and call out for him. I know I am not the only person to be in this situation but sometimes I feel so terribly alone, empty and frightened of the future. It is hell on earth.
Sending you love, hugs and comfort, Barbara x x
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Dear Barbara, you are so right when you say it’s living hell without our husbands. I too was wonderfully happy with my husband John who died in November, very suddenly. I also can’t imagine being happy again and face the future with dread. I know acceptance is the key to making progress with grief but so far it has eluded me. I wish I could offer more comfort but just wanted you to know you are not alone.
Take care
Dear jobar,
Thank you for your message, although I wouldn’t want anyone to suffer this pain, it is comforting to know that there are others who are going through this heartbreak and will understand how desperate and desolate I feel. John died 8 months ago and it things have not improved for me. He was my life, I miss him every hour of every day and I miss the life we had together and will never have again. My life is meaningless now.
Sending love and strength, Barbara x
Dear Barbara, I understand that feeling of desolation only too well. I seem to have gone backwards the past few days and feel exhausted just yearning for my happy life with my husband. Ironically with the news at the moment and the terrible death toll from covid I feel more alone than ever. I just want the world to be a happy place again - I can’t remember what it felt like to feel secure , to love and be loved unconditionally. I need to be positive for my family but it is so so difficult. John was always the one who made things right for all of us and I miss his cheerful optimism. Like you the future seems devoid of meaning but I hope that sharing feelings with others on this site we will eventually find a way forward.
Sending love
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Dear Jobar,
Thank you for your message of support. My John was my best friend and protector who I relied on more than I realised. We were so very happy and, like you, feeling secure is something I have not felt since he died. I try to be positive when I talk to my son and daughter but it is a front. Inside I am crushed and am fearful of the future. I know we are not alone in feeling this way, that many people are suffering the loss of their dear husbands especially with this dreadful virus. Sharing our feelings does help, even if only for a while. Sending love and strength, Barbara x
I understand how you are feeling . Its just overwhelming the feeling we have x I’m four month on from losing my wonderful husband who I met when I was 15 yrs he being 18yrs we had 54yrs together and I feel totally devastated without him feel lost and empty nothing means anything anymore I just hurt inside. Will it ever get any better x. Norma
Dear Barbara. I understand you’re feelings you sound very much like myself. Missing my lovely husband Billy so badly. Life has no meaning . Everything you plan in life was to be together now nothing interests me . I just need him so much and wish everything was back how we were before this dreaded cancer took him from me far to soon we had 54 yrs together and met as teenagers so only ever having each other you wonder how long you can go on
My thoughts are with you
Normski xx
Hi Norma, I’m so sorry to hear that you have lost your wonderful husband and that you are feeling empty and lost. I noticed this was your first post, so I just wanted to say hello and I’m glad that you have found this site. As you can see from reading some of the posts, you are among people who understand here.
Sorry to see that you haven’t had any other response yet. You have posted your messages in reply to a conversation started by someone else. When you feel ready, you may also want to start a new conversation yourself, as this tends to encourage more people to reply specifically to you. Find out how to start a new conversation.
Four months is not a long time at all when you are dealing with the loss of a spouse, and after so many years together, life alone must be a huge adjustment. Grief is a long process and there is no set timeline, but most people do find that the number of good days increases as time goes on. Many people find that it helps to take things day-by-day and not look too far ahead. Keep posting if you find that it helps.
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Hello Normski,
So sorry to hear you have lost your best friend and soulmate. It is so very hard isn’t it to waken up each day without him.
I lost David just over 9 months ago and like you we were married 54 years after meeting, and marrying in our teens. I am only now starting to be aware of what is going on around me. I say starting, because I still feel sometimes life is not real.
It must be terribly difficult for you after losing your husband and then being thrust into lockdown as you are missing the loving support of your family and friends, tho sometimes I felt as if I didn’t want company either. My feelings were, and still are all over the place, but I do have better times too now . Not good but better.
I hope you are being supported but feel free to post on here and read through various topics. It is a place where you can say exactly how you are feeling, and remember that changes from hour to hour, and hopefully someone will be there to listen and offer support.
Take great care of yourself.
Love to you. X
Dear Normski,
I do understand and wish I could offer you more support than a message. This site does help in realising that we are not alone and that no one wants to be here. I miss John all the time and feel my life is over now and I’m just existing. The house is full of memories which bring me pain and longing. I am so unhappy. Take care of yourself, sending love and comfort,Barbara x
That is exactly it Barbara just existing and everywhere you look it reminds you of the love you had x knowing nothing will ever be the same again x. Thankyou so much for your reply it’s a comfort to know we are not alone in this very sad time x. Normski