Emotional mess

Kia ora. Living in new zealand, I’ve lost my mum and sister in the Netherlands within the last 7months.
Lost another sister a couple of yrs ago and my dad and stepdad even longer ago.
Still have one sister left.
I always thought we had a close knit family. Loving and caring.
During my last visit in the Netherlands this sister (S1) and my sister that recently passed away (S3), treated my mum in a not respectful manner. Accusing her for things (20y ago?) But not wanting to name it. Somehow i was guilty as well, as was my other sister (S2) who passed away 5yrs or so ago.
I’m feeling so sorry for my mum, the pain she had to go through… and can not shake it off or deal with it.
I know I should be in control how I react and feel, but plainly cant…
Story is much longer but i already feel the guilt of posting so I stop here for now… i think S3 was sick, which maybe made her say things? S1 probably (close to) burnout? Feeling sad for them as well… tnx for reading

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