I don’t sleep much, I wander around, I was Norma’s carer and I had to move her three times in the night, the nights are long on your own
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Hi
Sleep seems to be non existent at the moment. As well as loss of my husband alsi my mum has dementia and looking atcare homes too. Also one if my husbands friend has died suddenly heart attack at 66 unexpectedly so funeral on Wednesday.
Sometimes i think im being tested each day.
No sleep lots of stress and problem’s will be glad when 2023 is over.
Lyn e
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Hi Malteser, yes, going theough the motions is what we do. This time of year is no fun at all, i just long for it to be over. It’s no longer the same & although we didn’t go anywhere, we loved just shutung & locking the door & watching films together. Cooking our Christmas dinner, doing soecial dinner for the doggies & that was our Christmas. J7st us, peace & quiet, with the dogs. I wish all of you struggling all the best & hope you get through ok.
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I can’t think of being with anyone on Christmas Day & I’m not sure I can do the day without seeing our kids/grandkids as we had planned for what would’ve been his last Christmas 
. I’ll just wait & do what I need to do to get through the day. It’s all any of us can do on any day.
I hope everyone finds some peace over the next couple of weeks x x
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Sending love and hugs. It’s going to be a painful day. I will check in to make sure everyone is ok or whether you need to talk. I hope we can all find some peace one day 
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I travel to Vietnam in March . A place my wife and I planed to visit together . I’m looking forward to it as it’s something to focus on but I’m also very apprehensive at the same time . But I know she would want me to do it and I know she will be by my side !! Best wishes to you all
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Hi @Jeff007,
Our daughter was asked by her dad to still do the things that she loved & wanted her to travel to the places that were already discussed. He also wanted me to do the same, book the trips that we had been talking of doing. Maybe one day I’ll be able to do the same as you. Hope you have a wonderful trip in March.
Take care
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Hi @Jeff007
Good to here about your planned trip.
I too will be travelling next year 1st time o my own to Belfast as we said we’d go on my birthday in October which i went to Blackpool for few days instead so hoping to go early next year with other trip to Fiji nearer my birthday next October.
It will be strange travelling alone i guess but when i am here i am on my own anyway so just be different people and scenery.
Take care and look after yourself
Lynne
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So sorry to hear your story M, but you’re an inspiration
@Judy60
Thank you - if my words can offer some comfort & peace then I’m glad - I don’t feel inspirational but there are a lot of people in this chat that have given me hope.
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Hmm…couldn’t put it any better - I can totally identify with you!
Take care x
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Thank you . And all the best to for your future x
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Thank you . Yes it will be strange . Going with a group I don’t know so still sort of on my own !! . All the best for your trip
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to Malteser - I know just how you feel, putting on a brace face but feeling empty and bereft. I would love to sleep and never wake up again, but know I have to go on for the sake of my daughter and her children. This will be the first Christmas I have spent without my husband since 1966 and I am still find it hard to believe this is all happening. So many things are extremely hard to deal with, triggering emotions and feelings; this time of year makes it so much worse for many people. I want to reach a place where I can just be grateful for the good and happy times we had together and not start crying or thinking of all the pain and indignity my husband had to suffer for many years. We grieved together for the life and liberty he lost through stroke and disease, but we still tried to have some kind of life. Now that has all gone and I have to live on it seems. I wish everyone feeling the same in this community strength and some peace of mind x
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@PLII
Thank you for your words.
The closer it gets to the 25th the harder it’s getting - if it wasn’t for the dog I would stay behind the locked door. Our daughter has gone away with her family for a week, the thought of her dad not turning up on Christmas morning was too much & I’m no substitute . I know he would’ve wanted us all to be together, just as he & I had planned, but that is proving to be a lot tougher than I ever imagined. I wish for the day he will come for me & give me peace.
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It’s a tough time & never turns out how we can imagine. We all deal with it in different ways & i’m sure your daughter not being there is hard. Of course she’s grieving in her own way. Like you, thank god for my dogs, they do keep you going cos they need us. I hope you get through Christmas ok & some point things don’t feel so hearbreaking. Take care.
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Family and friends start to feel uncomfortable and impatient with our grief. I hope you will be with your daughter again soon to share some good memories of her father with you. Sometimes though I think even that is too hard to manage, but I am sure he would want that. I realise my daughter finds it very hard to deal with my grief and seems to feel I should start to ‘move on’ 5 months after losing my husband and her father - I am trying to create a new life for myself after being a full-time carer for 9 years, but I just wish I could still be his carer no matter how hard that was at times.
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I was a care at home for 12 yrs & it is extremely difficult not only the loss but the life you had as a carer. It’s like, what’s my role/ purpose in life now. Everything changes in an instant😔. I hope you get through Christmas ok & there is no time limit on anyones grief but yes, agree, friends & family can expect you to have moved on. I at times have had, “oh she’d want you to be happy & move on.” Like i don’t know that but easier said than done. I keep saying, until someone has walked a mile in your shoes, they’ve no idea what’s going on & or how you’re feeling.
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Bless you . And not in a godie way it will take as long as it takes 2 years for me you think you are on the mend then bang something comes along to push you back . So you take as long as you like and don’t feel you have be a people pleaser . All the best !! X
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I read something the other day . It said we all carry a death certificate in our pocket it’s just a matter of time till someone comes along with a pen . Unfortunately time stalks us all !!
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