Its been 18 months now and im still finding it difficult to find any motivation to do anything,ive spent the last 3 days sitting in the house pretending to family that im ok
I have a little camper but i cant seem to get around to using it,after being in a couple for 40 years i seem to lack the self confidence.
Did anyone else feel like this and how did you deal with it?
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Hello, I think it’s normal to lose your confidence, at the end of the day your “wing man” is no longer there.
I found it helpful to find things to do that I didn’t do as a couple, new hobbies etc…
I also found that at first I had to force myself out of my comfort zone, hard at first but it got better, but I thought I can’t go on like this for the rest of my life… start small & build on that?
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Thank you for your advice ,youre right although in my case it was my wing woman ,i need to push through
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Dear Pandora116, I thought I was the only one who lost their self-confidence. It looks like our grief affects all our feeling, thoughts, and actions. I for example started making terrible grammatical mistakes and I always liked to do number crushers puzzles (only the easy ones I am not really good with numbers). Now I cannot even do this anymore because I hardly can concentrate. I try to calm myself down, not panic the whole time and take small steps every day. Some days are okayish, and some days are just disastrous. Some days and nights I am just crying and cannot stop. I hope you are feeling a bit better now and take your camper for a nice spin. Sending you lots of love and hugs.
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Hi @Pandora116
I agree with @Flower_garden I also had to push myself out of my comfort zone. It is entirely up to us how we manage our grief but I also didn’t want to remain a grieving mess for the rest of my life.
I think most of us lose confidence and suffer some anxiety, I know I did and I am usually a confident person that handles stress well.
I actually continued doing things that we had done together and managed to cope eventually. Lots of tears at first but it became easier
I’m afraid sitting in your house for days is never going to help. Getting out there and trying to help yourself is the biggest confidence booster.
So get your little camper out and go for a drive. Just a mile or two at first will start you off. Good luck.
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@Pandora116
I’ve forced myself to face everything, I’ve hit it all head on and dealt with it as I didn’t want to be dragged down.
My biggest challenge was the camper. My partner used it daily as his car and we camped regularly. Having booked Italy for 3 weeks this summer for his 50th, which will now not happen. Gutted!
I couldn’t have the camper home at all to begin with but I took small steps and the first step was to take it round the block.
Now I use it as my daily car, have sold my car and I’ve booked my first trip, not alone I hasten to add but with my daughter.
Is like to get to a stage where I will go off on my own but we’ll see.
If I sold the camper, I could never replace it and if I’m keeping it, I have to use it, so I am.
I hate not having my man to do it with and the first trip will be painful and if it doesn’t work out, I can sell it. There’s always options.
I hope your days get brighter soon but some of that has to come from you.
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I too am biting the bullet,im going on an open ended road trip on wed ,no plans just see where i end up,we had planned to do this together and i feel i have complete this,for her as well as for me
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