I was diagnosed with a particularly aggressive cancer in 2019, at that point, my mum, then in her 70’s moved in to care for me - she never went home. I lived alone, she lived alone, we were close anyway & it worked, she was the centre of my universe and I think she would have said the same. Since losing her, in the most horrible and unexpected way, last year, I am crippled by loneliness, I just cannot ‘do’ life. My brothers are beyond hopeless, my friends have their own lives, and when I do receive invites or people offer visits, I decline, I just want my mum.
I am sleepwalking through life, I work from home & in my grief & desperation to leave the house I lost mum in, bought a house in a fairly rural location that has isolated me further. I have just spent another weekend not interacting with a single human being, I shower, change my pyjamas, I lie in bed, I watch banal tv, I eat toast.
Grief is an awful time in our life. You need to try and motivate yourself as hard as it may be to get yourself out little by little. You will learn to live with your grief but shutting yourself away will not help. Next time someone invites you out please go, even if you don’t want to or need to leave early. Try get out for walks or a coffee. By pushing through you will learn the skills to cope better. You are still here and have a life to live. Your mum wouldn’t want to see you so miserable. Maybe think of brevemment counselling. Have you friends or family to support you?
Keep reaching out on here people are kind and will support you xx
Hi Daisy57
So sorry to hear that you are struggling so much, its horrible. I have a husband a children around me but i still feel alone. I think its easy at times to shut people out and go in to ourselves. Like the reply previously states your mum wouldnt have wanted you to be lonely and isolating yourself, and i know my mum wouldnt want me to either. Maybe that could be a starting point to push you into action, just babysteps initially? Here if you want to chat
Well you have taken the first step posting in here you are not alone. I have never done forums before and I am very surprised at how much it has helped.
So keep posting and build from there
Please allow someone in even if it’s just a quick visit or trip out .
It will help you need to be around people .
Thank you that is very kind. Another weekend of isolation & yes I completely get that I should make an effort as others have said. I am afraid the fug is so deep I simply cannot do that at the moment. I cannot force contact however much I feel I miss it.
That’s ok like I said you have taken the first step I will be happy to stay in contact.
Do you have pets ? how rural are you I live in mid Wales very rural !
I have only spoken to the neighbours chickens today.
post soon Lynda
Morning Daisy, well here we are the start of another working week do you get to talk to people with your job? I’m sure the birds were the sound of your waking .
I hope you have a good day, fight the fug even just for an hour or so.
Hello to you! I am pretty rural, have a few neighbours - and lots of walkers! I have a little cat, he lived on a farm but he wanted a mum so we really found each other after I lost my mum. I also have horses which I had at home until I was diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer in 2019. They went on livery & never came home.
I work from home & do speak to my team every day, seeing them is a different story.
the pleasure is all mine,
Are you able to ride your horses? or visit and look after them? the pussy cat is company or sorts someone has a kitten for me but i am a bit apprehensive. What do you and you team do, i am a support worker working with homeless people and i run a project for 18 to 25 yr olds ,so i talk all the time i have to remove myself for a cry in the car and i have had to go down to three days a week. even that is hard,
So one more day and i have a break till Fri.
Salmon and eggs for tea, not much cooking goes on theses days.
@olive3 how are you doing? I have so much going on at the moment that I want to tell my mum about, not nice stuff. She would understand.
My older horse had to have a tooth out yesterday, he is 29, his body is wearing out, more sadness xx
Hi Daisy, sorry about your horse, what is his name?
I am very tearful running on autopilot just about. I make myself walk with some one on a Sunday morning so I will be off in a min, it’s an effort as if I don’t make a commitment I just do nothing. I am sure your horses and cat ensure that you have a purpose and bring you comfort.
And you Going to pop to see my horse at teatime (he is Twister). Do get yourself a cat, they are the best company - although mine bought a duckling in this morning which was not very nice.
Anyhows let’s take a Monday breath & see what this week holds
Hi how is Twister? well I have got to Wednesday and ground to a halt as I don’t work today so 11am and I have not moved yet.
I admire you for working from home I would not have the motivation.
Twiz is doing well, definitely seems more comfy. Work was tough this week, my colleague has gone off poorly & my team are not the easiest to manage. I did take myself off for a Costa today, another little step on my own. I just wish someone would take charge & tell me what I need to do next. I know I am the only one now that can make life decisions, it’s so hard but I cannot keep sleepwalking through life.
