After being bereaved, this past two years of covid has taken it’s toll of me. I actually got to the stage of not caring if I live or die.

A lifetime of trying to please everyone, of tolerating toxic people and warring myself out over ungrateful children.
I have decided to become totally selfish, my life is about ME for the foreseeable! I have shut down and become unavailable to all but the most trusted couple of friends.

A major stress is my extended family, I’ve cut the toxics out, deleted them from my phone and minimised contact with unavoidable relatives.
Now I sleep lots, read lots, eat whatever and whenever I wish.
The results after a couple of weeks are amazing. I feel my inner batteries are recharging! The dreadful fatigue is leaving my tired body.

Have you ever done this? It is SO liberating not to give a damn.
Except for real emergencies, I am totally minding my own business because we only have one life. So many obligations are actually false and unnecessary. Oh and stop watching the news if you want real peace of mind.


Dear @Rachel50

Thank you for sharing an open honest post. Once in a while we need to have a clear out in our lives from decluttering the house, clothing, friends and social media to move forward and you have done this with a positive attitude. It does feel liberating.

The news is depressing lately and reading a good book or putting the radio on makes for a change of scene.

Well done on your positive move, keep us updated as to how you are going and continue to reach out here.

Take care.


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I suppose I’m tired, fed up of my energy going out in different directions. I cannot carry on that way.
So yes. A major honest stocktake is sometimes needed.


Interesting Rachel. I have done very similar to you.
I try not to watch the news now also.
My husbands daughters and their families were causing me stress. Until I felt enough was enough and I cut myself off from them. Sad but I felt much better when the decision was made. My own daughter went back to Spain and forgot I existed. If she wants me she knows where I am. Fortunately I have some supportive family which I treasure.


Indeed the relief of cutting all communication with people who bring stress and pain to you is enormous. No more obligations, just beautiful peace.
It is amazing how we continue contact with some people because we fear being alone. I have felt physical illness due to upsets over other people’s words.

Now it is my life that matters. I cannot help anyone unless I feel stronger and healthier first.

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I know some people might not agree but I am with you Rachel. I was so upset that my husbands family forgot about me and didn’t reply to me when I tried to make contact. Now I am not interested in them. I am surviving just the same and never really needed their support after all. I too was suffering through lack of sleep and guilt caused by worrying about what I had done so terrible. When grieving we have enough to cope with.
Good luck


Absolutely. You can be sure one day they will find out what this pit feels like.

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Interesting post as it rings close to home . After 3 significant bereavements , I have found myself cutting people out of my life who I have found only want me in their lives for their own gain … when things got really difficult these so called friends were no where to be seen and offered no support , just empty words .
I am struggling at the moment processing all of this as feel so alone …
your post made so much sense to me as you frame it positively . I do hope in time to build new friendships with people who are genuine .