I guess I am probably the only one with this particular issue but in case not I thought I’d post. I have been dreading the Eurovision Song Contest since I remembered about it a few weeks after my husband died last year… and not for the reasons most of the general UK population dread it 
My husband is from the Netherlands and I am from the UK, we met online through a computer game around 20 years ago and became really close friends. One of the things we did that led to us becoming closer was watch Eurovision together but separately whilst chatting each year.
We used to be in rival teams on the game and his team only talked Dutch to each other. A lot of people from the game watched Eurovision and other international events together on the chatroom and we both found we had a similar (evil) sense of humour about Eurovision (which some of the nationalities were taking very seriously so it was hilarious) and that is what made him switch to speaking English and so we became friends… if it wasn’t for Eurovision we may have never spoken to each other at all.
Once we’d met we were really looking forward to watching together on telly in real life with the same drinks etc, it was our dream.
Of course we did that as we ended up meeting every few weeks as we fell in love very quickly after meeting a few years after that first Eurovision we watched “together”. We started a tradition with another couple (the wife was Lithuanian) of watching Eurovision each year, alternate years at each other houses for the last 12 years or so. We would even score the acts and joke around a lot playing things like everyone has a shot when there is a wind machine (yeah we were bladdered every time quickly). It was a lot of fun and we looked forward to it each year. We always said if one of our countries won then we’d go to the live show in one of our home countries. It was silly but very fun.
Anyway in 2019 The Netherlands finally won and so my husband and I bought tickets to go to the live show in the audience. We were super excited to finally be doing one of our dreams together. The other couple reneged on the deal as our friendship had waned a bit anyway and it was super expensive (we didnt have the money but found it). My husband and I didn’t care and were planning to meet up with some of his family in Rotterdam who also got tickets. Anyway it was cancelled due to Covid (the whole contest) but we thought no worries since we felt quite happy at home during lockdown together and just thought we’ll do our dream in 2021 or whenever instead.
So it’s here but he’s not. Not sure if i can bear to watch it or bear to not watch it. It seems stupid i know for a silly thing like Eurovision to mean so much but i have been dreading this day for many months without him.
The guy from the couple we used to watch with sent me a text the other day when one of the semi finals was on (that we used to all watch and text each other during) saying he was thinking about me and wondering how i was, i replied a bit too honestly and he didn’t reply again.
I’ve already just had a big cry thinking about it. These days… ouff
well I guess I knew we were weird and thats why we belonged together.