I can’t say I enjoy any part of the day if I’m honest but the evenings are the worst. In a day time I can occupy my mind but the evenings are the times we would spend together so now I sit here every evening in my silent home and wonder what have I done to deserve this existence because that’s what it is now just an existence.
Going to bed I go to sleep for a couple of hours and escape reality day time I occupy myself and keep busy but in the evenings I’m absolutely lost .
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Hi, I know this feeling as well, I used to make my hubbys tea, run round after him all evening, whilst chilling together & chatting, now I sit alone in silence ready for bedtime which is normally about 8pm, struggle to sleep, still can’t sleep on his side of the bed, then I’m awake at least twice in the night before my alarm goes off at 5.15 and I’m back remembering he’s not here again 
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It’s so hard and for me made c wise by the nights drawing in. We did things together in the evening - watched tv, went to the pub or for a walk, went to cinema or out on his motorbike. Watching tv is so lonely as we very much watched it together. My auntie and her husband watch TV separately as they like different things and if we had done this then perhaps the hole wouldn’t be quite a bad but for me not having him here to discuss the characters and plot with makes it hard to use the tv as any kind of respite from this pain.
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I get this, daytime gives opportunity to pass the time but the nights are long and lonely. I scroll through tv channels to find something/anything to watch. When Mike was here I was too busy to worry about filling time, we would chat about our day and happily cuddle up on the sofa. I always felt safe even when he was very poorly. Now I am lost and find that I talk to myself to kill the silence.
I long for the lighter nights to return as the dark nights are so isolating
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The nights are the worst times,I am sitting here now waiting to go to bed flicking through the channels.
When my husband was here we would be sat with a glass of wine talking about our day and putting the world to rights now it’s complete silence how I miss that.
When I do go to bed not really sleeping most wake up 3 or 4 times during the night,at least with the lighter nights I can potter in the garden.
Sending hugs to all that there on this grief journey xxx
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Hi Kazzer. I never liked the winter with it getting dark so early but its worse now because I feel the same as you. During the day I occupy myself as best I can but its in the evenings I feel most alone.
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Jsg. My partner and I used to watch TV separately for the same reason your aunt and uncle do but I knew she was in the house and I would be checking she was ok and making her tea. That’s all gone now.