Every August gets worse

This month’s my son would have been 21. Lost him 3 years and 4 months at 17 when he set his poor mind free from his struggles.

I plan holidays on his anniversary in April so I’m never at home I try fill August with the same and outings and also have 2 other children who need me.

As soon as 1st of August hits I just decline. The brave mask I wear every day won’t stay on, I cry, I just want to lie in bed and never get out. The pain feels so much more than his anniversary.

He was my first born, the reason I’m a mum, my best friend and I feel so broken and lost without him. I see his friends from school celebrating and all I get is to send balloons up to heaven and visit his grave. It’s so unfair and I’m angry with the world for taking my boy away who didn’t deserve the cruelty he got for being him and how amazing he was that people didn’t appreciate., and he didn’t see how amazing he was.


Hello @Samluv85,

I am so sorry for the loss of your son - thank you for reaching out and for sharing a little bit about him with us.

I just wanted to give your thread a gentle bump - hopefully someone will be along to offer their support. You might also want to look at this thread: Loss of our son aged 27 - #8369 by maddie49 It’s a very supportive threads for parents who have lost a child.

Please do keep reaching out - you are not alone.


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