Oh wow I’m so glad I’ve seen this post. I lost my husband 14 months ago and feel so uninterested in anything. I’ve lost all motivation to do anything. I’ll go to work every day, get dressed put on my make up but my weekends are just spent doing absolutely nothing. I can’t remember the last time I did any housework or gardening. Then Monday morning comes around and I feel guilty. I too really need to give myself a massive kick up the arse. I’m really glad I’m not the only one feeling this way. xxx
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@PollyjaneW
I curse my OH too. Just a few days ago I was telling him he’s an absolute A-hole for leaving me here alone, poor bugger, it’s not like he had any choice in it 
IF there is anything after this then I’d like to think he’s happy and not upset that he’s no longer here. I wouldn’t want him to be upset at how me and his mam are feeling either. I’d want him to be happy and enjoying his adventures up there and I know he’d want the same for us that he’s left behind. If I only knew for sure there’s something after this 
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I used to wash dry and straighten my hair twice or three times a week but now I wash it about once a week and it gets brushed and put in a bobble. The last and only time I’ve done my hair and makeup since he died was the day of his funeral. I never really wear makeup unless I’m going somewhere nice anyway.
Ohh so fourteen months on you’re still not feeling any more motivated?
On the weekends do you do nothing because you are still grieving or for other reasons? Today was a beautiful day, we would definitely have made the most of the weekend and gone somewhere either for scenic walk or a meal and some drinks at a nice pub with a beer garden then pottered around the garden. Today I woke up, told myself a list of things I needed to do then proceeded to do absolutely none of it. I was supposed to go down a friends house for coffee and a chat but couldn’t br bothered so text her to say I wasn’t feeling well. Truthfully I just wish he was here to do meaningful, enjoyable things with.
Is your house work and cleaning getting ontop of you? I’m so embarrassed by the state of the house lately. I just really can’t be bothered to do anything about it. I’m hoping that when the cleaners do the initial clean I’ll be feeling more motivated to keep on top of it myself but if not I’ll just pay for cleaners for a little while longer x
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Exactly the same… I just throw mine in a bobble now and I too haven’t put make up on since the funeral , and even that made me feel ‘ what will people think me wearing make up & making an effort’ but Bry loved it when I was dressed up and always was ‘ Wow’ in saying that he used to say it when I looked dog rough too 
My house is suffering but tbh we were about to get it all done this year and the motivation has just gone now . Can’t be bothered & with my fog brain can’t even think of how to do it & start it .
I want Bry to be happy wherever he is but in truth I do think he will be sad . We loved each h other loads but he missed me even if I went on a night out ; not in a horrid way lol he wasn’t controlling ) he just missed me & was lost without me , so the bugger bloody left me , he’s probably saying now you know how I felt xxx
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I think I’ve just got stuck in a rut and got used to it. I’m starting back at my gym next week and going to really get myself moving again. Today’s weather has really helped me feel good again. I always start off with good intentions I just need to see them through now. I’m hoping now it’s not grey and wet outside it’ll give me the boost I need. xxx
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We completely gutted our house when we bought it about seven years ago so touch wood nothing major needs replacing yet. I do need a new oven and some new light fittings in the kitchen. It also needs painting throughout and we’d commented on that a few weeks before he died. We planned to do it all as soon as the weather was nice so we could have all the windows and doors open and planned on painting the back of the house at the same time. I was looking at the walls the other day and said aloud “you could have done the painting before you died you lazy B******” That’s just how we used to talk to eachother.
Haha, it didn’t enter my head what people would think about me wearing make up. I just felt like I needed to be presentable and couldn’t just turn up like a scruff
I’ve been an absolute slob ever since though. I just do not care anymore 
I’ve been thinking about joining a gym but know I’ll end up paying and not going. I feel like I need to get out and meet new people now. I wish I knew people in our position locally to me. We’re all in the same boat and all understand each other. It’s also nice to talk about how we are feeling without feeling like you’re getting on people’s nerves going on about it all the time
I joined last July and only been a handful of times My brother in law’s sister lost her husband a year before I lost mine so we tend to get together and can talk for ages about how we feel. It’s like we’re in our own little club but we totally get how each other feel. And neither one of us can relate to the term ‘widow’. We’re both in our late forties and think we’re far too young to be called a widow, we prefer married to an angel 
xxx
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I know it’s so nice it’s a shame we are all spread far & wide , would be great to meet for drinks with people that understand us 
xx
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I hate the word Widow too . I’m 53 and feel far too young for that . I’ll always be a Mrs xx
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We’d only been married for 5 months before Garry died so I was still getting used to being a Mrs. We were together for 19 years but he wanted me to have his name before it was too late xx
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Me and my husband joined a gym about a year before he died. Just before he died I started going loads. I was so proud of my fitness level. I’d gone from couch potato to quite fit. I attended body combat classes, yoga and ran for a good while on the treadmill. Well when he died the membership got cancelled as it came out of his bank. I felt so ill with anxiety everyone suggested the gym. So I rejoined, I have hated it for months. It’s an expensive gym and I probably have been a few times a month. It just reminds me of my husband. I feel uneasy if men make eye contact with me. I try not to look in anyone’s direction. My fitness has decreased just in a few months.
Again like the house, I really want to start liking it again. All of these issues are in my head. Everything just takes so much effort. Tonight I have had a mad hour clean round I even swept my artificial grass. This post have given me the kick I needed.
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Me too, I’m so glad I’m not the only one feeling like this. xx
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Married to an angel
Oh my, that got the tears rolling, that’s lovely. Me and my partner never married, I’m only 38 and if we had been married I would feel too young to be called a widow too.
Does anyone else feel that because we are not in our sixties or seventies people think we should be ok because we have time to “find love again” it actually really bugs me.
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I was told days afterwards that I’d meet someone else. 
that filled me with horror and repulsed me. However, the thought of being on my own forever now seems awful too. I just don’t imagine ever meeting anyone I’d like as much as him. I was with him 20 years from the age of 17.
I look at good looking men and can appreciate their looks but the thought of sitting down and watching tv together or sharing a bed seems impossible. It’s too weird.
Yes it’s a shame we don’t all live closer. It would be nice to go for a few drinks and talk about our wonderful partners with other people who understand and feel exactly the same as we do.
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Lol yes I know exactly what you mean. I notice men are good looking in the same way I notice a good looking woman. We can’t help but notice something physically attractive about either sex but as for finding a new man, I don’t want to. It wasn’t his looks I loved him for, it was his personality. He was just a wonderful person and I’ve never felt that comfortable with anyone in my entire life. I know I’ll never find anyone like that again. He was such a special, unique person and I just want him. I know it’s going to be a long, lonely life without him. It’s all well and good going for coffee with friends or going for walks with them but I miss the holidays and breaks away. I need to make some new single female friends
As for another man, I really don’t think I’ll ever want to.
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I’m watching the afterlife now. It’s actually so relatable. I’m at the part where the heoin addict has just ended his life on the mattress in the garage.
As much as I’ve thought about it many times myself and see it as the easiest way out I couldn’t help but sob and feel so sad that he felt that low that he actually did it. I think we’ve all been that desperate at times though
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I know. It’s very relatable now. I said I’d watched it before grief but now it’s a very different watch.
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