Everything is different now

My husband died August 12th 2021 and since then everything is so difficult and I hate life.
We was together for 30years married for 23 we had a lovely little home 2 holiday’s a year and our little dogs. My life was wonderful then over night it all changed.
Why did he have to leave me I didn’t want him to go.
My days now are a mixture of just coping and not coping at all.
At first I kept thinking he would walk back in though door and give me a big hug but now I know this is just a dream he’s not coming back and I will never have a hug off him again .
At first I didn’t want to sort any of his stuff out I would say to myself he will want them when he comes home daft I know, but these last few weeks I’m had no choice because I’m lost our home the home we made nice and cosy the home we decorated and loved . So I’m had to sort his clothes and bits and pieces and give them to a charity shop It broke my heart to bag his things and take them to my local shop. His shed really was difficult I found all the birthday cards I had sent him and lots of personal things I had forgotten about in one of his draws. Our home is almost empty now and it echoes in here I picture us cuddled up on settee watching television all furniture gone just carpet and curtains left the heart as gone out of our lovely home.
Also my sister in law died in April this year and I’m trying to support my brother when I feel like just screaming what about me I’m hurting too.
All I have left is my memories and sometimes even that upsets me. I used to be able to still smell him in his room but now all his things have gone even that has disappeared. I feel so lonely and heartbroken and this will be like that for the rest of my days. I’m sleeping on a blow up bed in a empty room till its all sorted . Just me and our two dogs in a shell of a home. It’s so overwhelmingly sad and I think my hubby would be so upset if he knew how I’m ended up . Sorry for rant just need to write it down . I know I’m not the only one suffering and I don’t want to feel sorry for myself just need to share my thoughts.


Oh Misprint, I’m so sorry for what you are having to go through at the moment. It’s been 13 months for me now and just coping with the loss of my husband is hard enough and I’m still in my own house. For you to have to lose your home as well must be devastating.

Please take care of yourself and never apologise for expressing how you feel. You are among friends here and we all care about what happens to you.

Look after yourself,

Julie x


Not much I can add for you .

Terrible about your loss and the home , a massive shock to your life I CAN imagine .
Please focus on the amazing days you had and try to get through the day .

We are all here to listen to your feelings ok


How awful for you having to go through all the stress of losing your home as well as dealing with your grief.
I have no words to help except to send you love and wish you luck. Hope you get sorted and settled soon xx


I’m sorry to hear of your sad loss and subsequent horrible time. I’m sure you know that your husband is always with you in spirit and always will be. This knowledge gives me some consolation but the loss still hurts so badly.