Hi George its very hard indeed, we all have different story to tell and each one is very painful indeed , I was never married, in my mid 50s now, but I found a women I loved and she was taken from me, so I know how you are feeling, trust me
2 Likes
Friends prove their worth to by caring actions I have lost touch with most however I am lucky enough to have 2 that just ring every couple of days and check I am ok they understand me and my torment and get that I am struggling Al they say is we are here 24 hrs a day this has saved my life. My wife’s family 5 sisters have had no contact at all which is fine. I remember they all said it won’t last 6 months when we married at 16 well 45 years later screw them. I am getting better at living even though I am dead inside. I must do ok as I know she is watching me.
5 Likes
Bless you it was a year today that i losed the love of my life had a day with my daughter glad you have someonethat mack should you are ok sending big hug
2 Likes
Exactly this!! My best friend passed and six weeks later, unexpectedly, my Mum passed. The silence from others has been deafening. I feel like i have no one to talk to. The two people in my life, both of whom i spoke with several times a day have both gone. Like you, i feel like if i was to open up and truly speak every time i feel low, it wouldnt be welcomed. I dont know how many times ive broken down on the way to work, in work and on the way home again. I often need to remove myself from my work desk. I work for the NHS, and my line manager is clock watching me. Sending links for other jobs to me.
Since Mum passed, i look after my Dad every day, cooking his meals, helping with housework, taking him shopping, trying to get him out of the house etc. I asked to compress my hours so that i may get a Friday off to spend with my daughter after she finishes school at lunchtime because a lot of my weekend is taken up with Dad. I was told no because me having a Friday off is detrimental to the service. It’s only six months since my Mum passed and i’d say after my phased return, it was like i was just supposed to be back to normal.
I went to counselling and it did help, but we are only allowed short bursts. It just feels like an incredibly lonely void most of the time.
3 Likes
Good old NHS het ? And they wonder why they cant keep their staff !!! I used to work in the NHS and i know what they are like ! Dont value hard work and just want you to belong to a little “clique” and if you dont ! God help you ! Sending you links for other jobs !!! How disgusting i would go higher than her/him and report them !!! Will cause hell of a row but who cares after all we have lost !!! X
It is eight months since my husband passed away. I still have times when it hits home that he is not coming back. I have just been through a week of bursting into tears unexpectedly and to top it all off, I had a text message from my son in NZ who is suicidal. I immediately contacted his ex partner and she had exactly the same message. All weekend, I have been trying to see what I can do to help him. Bearing in mind, he wants nothing to do with me that came as a complete shock. The last message I had from him was so nasty and hurtful, I didn’t know how to respond. The lies he is now coming out with are really hurtful and I am beginning to doubt my own sanity. I just awaiting a call from my counsellor as I am in a really bad place at the moment. I know in my heart a lot of the things he is saying are lies but my head is telling me different. I am considering hypnotherapy do see if that will help. I know in general people that say they are going to commit suicide are only saying that to try and get the help they need. Both me and his ex partner have been sending him messages all weekend of where to go for help and even asked his friend if he would go round to see him and maybe get him to hospital. His friend was keen on doing that. Men keep their feeling hidden and in NZ the attitude is “man up”. I know it will be no point me trying to phone my son because he will not answer the phone. If he does do any foolish then I will have to live with that for the rest of my life
2 Likes
Is it worth getring th police involved in NZ to check hes ok ? I would. Hes your son. Hope you get something sorted ? Its awful when we been through all this and we still having problems ? Maybe your son is still upset about his dad. Take care and let me know how it goes xxx
1 Like
Deb5 i have tried contacting police in NZ. They used to really helpful but now much like the police in UK. Suggested I contacted Mental Health NZ. I have a free phone number but doesn’t work from UK. Looking at their website, my son has to contact them for help or get a gp referral. Couldn’t find any information for someone to contact on his behalf. I know from living in NZ that their mental health care is abysmal. They have the attitude you should man up and get on with it
2 Likes
Oh dear … dunno what to suggest then tbh … try not to get upset and if your son text again tell him to go get some help cos you cant help if you are in the UK can you ? That’s all i can think of and as you say get his friends over there to help !!! You must be worried sick ! 
x
Oh Desmond I’ve just read your love story and it is a love story my heart goes out to you I know how difficult this is going to be for you and to be truthful I’m lost for words all I can say is not many people finds there soul mate I’m glad you found yours x
Yea thank you, but she has been taken away from me, I’m broken in 2, I’ll NEVER get over the lost of her, but she will me in my heart FOREVER now, she only died in Aug, but I loved her to bits, and she did me too, my heart is truly broken. I miss her lots.
1 Like
I fee your pain I lost my Lynne in March it doesn’t get better it never will but you can survive i am hollow without her but I must go on she walks with me and I always talk to her constantly it gives me strength to know she would approve of what I do. I keep the house as she would expect it and I bring her fresh flowers ever few days she loved it. I feel lucky that we completely loved each other for 45 years and I will love her for a thousand more. Be good to yourself and know she loved and still loves you.
2 Likes
I feel like you I just have deepest sympathy for anyone going through this terrible situation. I am so lonely even with so many people around me. I don’t want to be here without my lovely les x
2 Likes
I feeling like you it has been a year now i lost the love of my life my heart broke 
every day big hug
1 Like
I get it I feel completely numb all the time l will never be happy again not till I join her that could take many years but the loss will never get easier
2 Likes
Iam the same just can not wait until it is my time iam only 57 so long time to go
1 Like
I know so hard for me still at 9 months …miss him everyday … prople are around you but not same as having your husband is it ? ;( x
1 Like
Deb5. Same as me. 9 months since my husband passed away. I miss him terribly. He was my rock. I can cope with the daytime hours by going to different groups and keeping myself busy. Evenings are the worst. The loneliness is unbearable. I talk to him about what I have done with my self during the day but it is not the same as having the company or conversation with someone. I am 72 and the thought that I could go on for another 10 or 20 years on my own overwhelms me. I am dreading Christmas this year as he passed away on 27 December. No family support so will just be me on my own
5 Likes
Aw… thanks my husband passed on 16th december so xmas gonna be rubbish … and yeh same miss talking to him so much xx
Sorry @Caw1
Me too the thought of spenting christmas on my own not great but i think i need to do this. Normally the two if us would spend it togethet now life will be strange on my own not what we woukd have wanted but somehow thats how it will ve from now.
Maybe need the time to reflect previous times and cry and somehow get through christmas.
It wont be easy
Lynne x
1 Like