Hi Kath.
I’m sorry for your loss.I feel for you. It’s 4 months for me and it gets harder every day. I too have been out a couple of times for meals with a friend. I’ve managed to cope, but only just. You just sit there devastated that the love of your life is not there to share it with you. I’m sat here again on my own I just want her to be here to talk to and discuss plans for the weekend.
Not sure what the future holds for all of us but there has to be better times ahead. Or is that wishful thinking.
Take care of yourself.
Gary
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Hi Gary
We all know that feeling. I think the weekend is the worse, especially Saturday for me. Weekends aren’t something to look forward to anymore. I am 9 months in and it has got better, but it doesn’t go away. I don’t honestly know how I have got this far, you just have to, take one day at a time. I am sure it will get better, but this pandemic is making it worse for us.
Ps I notice from your profile you are in Sale you are close to me.
Hi Viv.
I’m glad your finding it a bit better after 9 months. Hopefully time will help. I understand it will never go away but hopefully I will find a way to live with it.
Hi Viv
I’ve spent the night on this site. It somehow makes you feel better knowing your not alone.
I’ve been reading some of your messages from earlier. You’ve been through a difficult time over the past few months. Like you I find it hard that people don’t have a clue how you feel and seem to back off. Friends I expected to keep in touch have stopped calling. I can always rely on my 3 daughters. They try to be strong for me and I do the same for them but they have their own lives and they are grieving as well.
Take care of yourself
Gary
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@Kath23 hi kath it’s so hard our lifes will never be the same it will be 19weeks for me on Tuesday I have had the first anniversary without her which breaks my heart and next week is my birthday try to still feel proud of yourself you did well getting out and you are trying everyday that’s all we can do I feel as each day goes by we miss them more its not a life we would have chosen but somehow we get up everyday and do what we must thats something to be proud of take care kath sending hugs x
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Hi Gary
That was one was hard to understand - people dropping away. In the first few weeks you have calls, text messages, flowers, cards, and then suddenly it just stops, and it’s difficult to understand why, people just get on with their lives and they don’t know what to say I suppose.
My next door neighbour is a widower, but he is 10 yrs on. He says you don’t forget, and it will be different, but he has joined clubs, goes on holidays and has made lots of friends - he is never in, so there is hope. The one thing he said was to talk to anyone that’s why I come on this site as that is what you can do and nobody will judge, I do have my kids, grandkids and parents they are constant and most important, but I don’t share often with them, I don’t want them to worry. In any case as you say the kids are grieving themselves, they don’t need to take more. I sometimes drive to Asda on a Saturday night you would be surprised at how many single middle aged people are in there probably in the same boat.
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I’m also coming up on one year and sometimes it does feel like it’s getting worse. The crying, the loneliness, the pain of his loss is overwhelming at times. At least you still have your mom and grandchildren to keep you busy. Cherish the time you have with them.
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Hi Viv
I’m glad your neighbour has managed to move on and made a new life for himself. Although I hope it doesn’t take me 10 years.
Another weekend to fill. I will start today with my normal two to three hour local walk. From one cafe to the next hoping I might end up chatting to somebody. It helps to fill the day. Tonight’s a first since Dianne passed away, I’m having my two grandsons stay overnight. They are 8 and 13. They were very close to their grandmother so I’m sure they will want to talk about her. I’ll try to take their mind of it with pizza, cake and movies.
Tomorrow’s another first. I’ve invited my three daughters and grandchildren round for Sunday lunch. We always used to do this on Sundays when Dianne was here. She used to love these family days. 
I hope I manage to get through the day with one empty seat at the table. It’s a struggle just writing this message.
Try to have a good weekend and look after yourself.
Gary
Hi Barb
I will, they are so important. Hope you are feeling good today x
Hi Gary
I had my Grandaughter stay with me for a week in the school holidays she is 10. It was a really good week, and I felt a lot better, like there was some purpose. So keep inviting them to stay it’s a good decision. Dianne will be proud that you are doing the Sunday lunch, try to enjoy it. Look after yourself and speak soon.
Hi everyone. Tomorrow I will be making Sunday lunch for my two boys and their families. It will be the first time since I lost my beloved husband in January. I’ve got mixed emotions about it. He used to love those family get togethers and I know he would have wanted them to carry on. But part of me is dreading it. Over the last 7+ months I really haven’t bothered doing much in the way of cooking. It’s hard to be motivated when it’s just for yourself and there’s no enthusiasm to do much. I’ve been out of practice in the kitchen and I’m worried lunch will not turn out very good. It’s like I’ve lost my self confidence but I know I have to try. It just feels like everything is a huge struggle.