Hi all
Just woke up from another broken sleep. I can’t get passed Gareth’s suffering as he was fit snd well and caught the virus last January and fought for two months until a March 1st.he suffered so much and now his future and mine are down the drain. He was about to retire fully at aged 66 and then this has happened. I am having counselling and EMDR but honestly it is still so horrific.
The loneliness is shocking and I don’t want to live. I won’t end my life because of my daughters but every day is exhausting emotionally with no joy without the msn I love with all my heart. I write to Gareth every day which helps me. I try to go day to day but it’s so tough. I watched Megan Devine’s podcast last night in grief which is helpful. It’s hard to live in a world where people just get in with their lives whilst yours has stopped.
Will make myself get up again shortly to start the horrendous journey again. Thanks for listening and witnessing my grief. Lynn


Grieve is exhausting you just want to hide away my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer feb2019 and there was just the 2 of us with Covid he passed away November 11th 2019 I went to take him a cup tea and he had died it’s so very hard sending you a hug take care annie x


Hi Lynn

I’ve just read your post and it so echoes my thoughts and feelings exactly. My husband, Ian, passed away suddenly and unexpectedly 22 weeks ago today. We thought we had a year but only had 7 weeks…

It is exhausting emotionally to just get through each day but I don’t think friends and family realise this. I just can’t bear the thought of a lonely future without him and it hurts so much. I’ve started having counselling recently to try and help.

I too write to Ian every day telling him what I’ve been doing and how much I miss him. Tonight I was actually wailing, something I have never done before but I had so much grief inside me.

My daughter rings most nights and I know she just wants her old mum back but I don’t think she ever will.

Take care,
Julie x