Well I can’t sleep again. Been doing EMDR therapy but last night could hear & see the awfulness of Steve’s collapse. PTSD.
Daughter is worrying me too. She hasn’t told her team about her Dad & is still speaking as if he’s alive. She says she just doesn’t want to have to explain it all to them.
I think with his 1 year anniversary coming up in December it’s starting to get to us a bit more again.
Will discuss with Counsellor next week.
Hugs to everyone whose suffering. Xx


I have started another course of counselling. It begins tomorrow. I feel I’m not moving on and have constant stomach anxiety. I was walking smudge and felt light headed and dizzy. I constantly feel hungry I don’t know whether it is my medication Sertraline but I’m frightened to come off them as the side effects are horrible. X

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I feel for you and your daughter annem, not yet a year is still such early days and I identify with you nel, I’ve become weirdly what feels ‘artificially’ hungry since sertraline got increased to 100mg for my unbelievable anxiety and I had horrendous side effects going on it then increasing it and fear withdrawal
So much suffering on top of suffering
Look after yourselves

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Sorry …anne8 not annem

Hi am on 200mg sertraline max dose. I can assure you the hunger/food cravings lessen over time. It is difficult at 1st cos you’re concious about weight gain, binging or developing other issues around food, but this particular drug is really good imo & also if you need more help, for example with sleep , can be safely combined with a different anxiety/depression/sedative drug eg: clonazepam or quitiepeine. It’s a bit trial & error at 1st. When you are ready to decrease your dose decrease very slowly. Shave a bit of a tablet off for a couple of weeks, then a little more & so on. It’s arduous but it stops those horrid withdrawal symptoms like “head shocks”, dizziness etc. Never decrease your dose without speaking to your clinician.

Thankyou anne8…it took 12 weeks for the side effects to ease and now feeling the benefit at last less of the overwhelming anxiety not totally gone but ‘muffled’ somehow I’m possibly increasing to 200mg as that’s been sugggested but not decided yet. I’m not so wary of that now though.
It doesn’t take away my deep sadness of grief and for those that say a bit judgementally at times I find, that a person should never ‘go down the route of medication for grief’ , I ask them to consider that most people will have a bereavement(s) at some point and that of course includes people who, not because they are ‘weak’ or seeking to ‘medicalise’ grief, but through perhaps an existing tendency to anxiety and/or depression, might require some additional help in the form of medication and there’s no shame in that. It also depends on the circumstances of the death and the state of the relationship with the deceased as to how a person reacts. Some people are deeply traumatised by a sudden perhaps shocking violent death and are so profoundly affected they can’t function and medication can help. There are many different circumstances.