Last Friday I carried my Aunt’s coffin, in August I carried my uncle’s coffin, in May I carried my mum’s coffin and in January I carried my best friend & soul mate my wife Marie’s coffin.
The whole year has been utterly tragic and exhausting.
I haven’t reached out to any community or groups until today. The next few weeks that take me through Christmas and past the 1 year anniversary of Marie’s passing is really petrifying, if anyone has any thoughts on how to cope, please let me know.
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Sorry for your loss.
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Aw … so sorry for your loss ! You have had an awful time of it 
i have no.tips apart.from to try and survive this ! Have you had some bereavment counselling ? Highly recommend it. Not a magic wand but helps xxx
I tried, it helped. But i need more counselling and talking therapies.
@Derek1966 my heart goes out to you. That is a huge amount of loss in a short space of time. I’m not sure how any of us cope. I find keeping busy works best for me. I try to fill my diary with as much as I can. I make lists of things to do everyday and tick them off. It’s different for everyone. This is a good place to chat. Take care.
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@Deb5 thankyou, I think I am coming around to some counselling.
I made an internal commitment to myself not long after losing Marie, to basically ‘do nothing’ for a full year. What I mean by that is; don’t sell the house, change job, emigrate, try to form a new relationship or anything else of any magnitude.
Now that the year is close, I am facing contemplating any and all of these things.
As the year approaches I don’t seem to be any further forward though so maybe I need help.
I really hate to say it but I have not had the space in my heart to grieve at all for the loss of my mum, I’m too caught up with the loss of Marie.
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Thanks @Jan17 I do find being busy helps although I am not so organized as yourself I confess.
I hope I don’t come across as negative for folks reading this, I really do want to be supportive - one of the things I find a struggle at times when trying to stay busy is an overwhelming wave of ‘whats the point’ you have to fight that wave when it happens. I guess I am pretty exhausted at the moment with the 1000 daily struggles.
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Yeh i know exactly what you mean. I didnt grieve for my dog who i had to have put to sleep 2 days before my husbands funeral. Too much pain isn’t it ? Take care xx
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Yep too much. I really don’t know what to say about my mum. I stayed with her with my sister for the last 6 weeks of her life. In itself it was hugely traumatic, I just can’t find any space to grieve. My only thoughts are that it allowed me to form a much closer relationship with my sister, something I really appreciate as I haven’t had since we were children.
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@Derek1966 I sometimes struggle with what’s the point. I suppose I’m putting more emphasis on things I ‘enjoy’ doing more. But we need to get through the day regardless so I try to make it as pain free as possible. Hope you find a way of coping better.
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@Derek1966
What an absolutely dreadful year for you, I can’t imagine your pain
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Well said @Jan17. Ive decided that after all these months of being so heartbroken i am just gonna grab any bit of happiness or kindness that comes my way … our partners would want that … ! That.doesnt mean we wont ever be sad again - it just means that we can try at least as you say “enjoy” things x
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@Derek1966
Definitely a good idea to get some counselling and seek some help where you feel you need it. Certainly you need to reconcile everything that has happened and so your decision making is based on sound judgment without grief clouding your judgement.
I have not set myself any time limit bot I am starting to get out and do the things I want. I am retiring as planned (21/12) and planning to visit my daughter in Canada 
in March and visit Iceland with my photography friends in June so putting my life back together one piece at a time
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Thanks @Cat_fan
Glad to see you are gradually piecing your life back together in some ways.
Congrats on retirement and a trip to Iceland camera in hand sounds fantastic.
I will be back into my photography with great gusto in 24 !
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@Cat_fan that’s great!
Photography is a passion of mine.
I have not had much energy to indulge but hoping to in the coming months
Yes been a tog 40 years lol
I did a friends wedding last year but nothing much else but I’m up for a challenge in 24
@Cat_fan
I have been on a year long sabbatical as I looked after Marie during her last months and since recovering, just last week I restarted my open learning degree in photography.
I’m hoping I can cope and have the energy to do it justice.
I hope that it gives you a positive channel for your energy into your studies
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