It’s now just over 5 months since Keef left me. At the beginning I suppose I was in shock and then there was all the paperwork/money stuff to sort out. Now 5 months down the line I seemed to have developed continuous exhaustion. Whenever I have to do something different or go somewhere different I get dreadful stomach aches and find it very difficult to walk properly. I tried to explain this to the doctor last week but she decided that it was something physical rather than a mental health issue. Well I suppose she took one look at me, I’m not slim and in the summer my face is pink most of the time because I’m fair, and decided I had real health issues. The thing is that when I’m home I work in the garden for hours digging etc with no problem, apart from obviously getting a bit sweaty, and every other day do an hour of very sweaty aerobics. It’s only when I try to go somewhere that the stomach and breathing issues appear. Is this normal? I have another appointment with the doctor in a couple of weeks, once she’s got the test results, and she had mumbled about maybe organising counselling for me. I just wondered if anyone else has had these type of issues and whether it’s fairly normal. Sorry to rant but things just seem to be going from bad to worse.
I am sorry @Guineapig65 you are suffering so much. I lost my dear husband 27 weeks ago and do feel exhausted at times through stress and crying. I don’t actually get stomach ache, it just churns over at odd times, feelings like I used to have before exams, etc. I have had breathing issues when I have become so utterly distressed. I just calm myself down and try and breathe normally.
If you can carry out all that digging and aerobatics ok, then maybe when occupied so much, you aren’t thinking about all the sadness you are enduring. I think keeping busy as much as possible, rather than thinking too much, does help.
Counselling has helped me in some ways.
I hope you don’t have any physical issues and can manage your terrible loss a day at a time. It’s never going to be easy.
Good luck. xx
I too feel breathless at times although not doing anything just from anxiety and grief. At least it feels different from last year when it was caused by fluid around the lung. I also have had stomach pains and digestive issues but my journey is so much shorter. Just over 7 weeks.
I had a nervous problem when I was much younger and it caused me to have breathing and digestive problems, very much like I have experienced since losing my dear husband, I haven’t had them so much lately and I have no doubt the extreme stress causes them. I am eating better too.
Sending hugs xx
I am trying to eat better but my husband did all the cooking. Thanks for your advice. Xxxx
@Guineapig65 I lost my husband suddenly and unexpectedly 7 months ago. He was 53 years old. I have had a lot of health issues since especially tummy issues and like you walking issues. I used to be able to walk for miles. Now when I walk my chest and back hurts and my shoulders ache. I also feel light headed. I had a trauma assessment yesterday and was told that I am carrying a lot of trauma. Grief definitely affects you physically as well as emotionally. Take care xx
I don’t have physical issues but I am really tired all the time, even when I have a good night’s sleep, my father in law also has it and the doctors called it grief fatigue.
We are all dealing with a lot. We are not getting through this unscathed. Our own natural responses to grief will do all sorts to our bodies to help with the freeze flight that we deal with. Being anxious about everything is going to be a reality, our lives have changed beyond measure.
I get seriously anxious going anywhere I’m constantly looking for people I know (so I can avoiding them) knotted stomach the works. It sounds like a few do
Although I don’t wish my s
Sorry, pushed the reply too quickly … it’s good to share our grief related problems and know it’s not just me.
I’m 9mths down the line and get very anxious. I’m tired all the time.
I’m going on holiday tomorrow with the family and getting knots in my stomach wondering should I be going ? I’ve never been away without my husband.
I Will be seeing couples together having fun and all I want to do is scream it’s not fair.
Yep thats exactly what the counsellor said to me yesterday …our grief can cause physical symptoms xx
@Jules59 I have just come back from a holiday which was hard as my husband should of been going. I went with his best friend, his wife which is a good friend of mine and my best friend. My best friend took my husband place. There were plenty of tears from all of us and at times I went for a walk and shouted it is not fair. . Every night we toasted my husband and got him a black russian which was his holiday drink. I found the holiday was a distraction at times. My friends were brilliant and very supportive and understanding and when the evening entertainment came on we played games inside as the music triggered me. The hardest part was coming home back to reality. Hopefully you will have the support of your family and can talk about your husband. Take care and big hugs xx
Yeh i saw someone i know today and i thought oh no … you didnt see me ! She just said hi and i said hi back ! And rolled my eyes as i went past ! You know people know and you dont want their pity do you ? Support yes but not pity 
xx
I’m so pleased to hear that I’m not alone in feeling exhausted. It’s 4 months for me now and I thought I was doing so well at first and then it hit me so hard with anxiety, fatigue and feeling emotional . I try to keep busy and keep in touch with friends and hopefully things will slowly improve. I’m told to rest and look after myself- hope it helps
. Thanks for your support.
This is a real thing and may help to read about it. You’re not alone in feeling like this.
That has made things a lot clearer and made me realise that I’m not going mad! I just have to get other people to accept that I feel exhausted most of the time, it’s about being honest rather than pushing through things unnecessarily.
@Guineapig65 Absolutely, no point lying about how you feel, otherwise it makes the struggle harder. And sometimes when I cry, I just want to cry, I don’t want an arm around me or sympathy, I just want to get rid of a feeling. But it is all exhausting.