Yep when i see that advert i often think thats me too ! The rage of losing our wonderful men who loved us so much 
not fair xxx
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It’s definitely not fair Those who have not been through this have no idea how much pain it causes 
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Hugs to you Rachel xx
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My husband died on 6th May at
only 58 . He had a 9month fight with a rare aggressive cancer of the appendix. We were married for 35 years and I am just going through the same. Life is not worth living without the person I choose to share it with. I am putting a front on for my children but inside I am so so sad lonely and not sure how to continue. Or even if I want to.
We fort the disease together to the very end where he asked me if he could go. The sad fact is I wanted to go with him.
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My husband died 6th June he was diagnosed with colon cancer 7 days before he died. It was so sudden and unexpected. I have mobility issues and couldn’t spend as much time as in would have liked with him in those days. The last time I managed to visit him he was so drugged up he didn’t know in was there. The weekends are the worst but I cry everyday. Sometimes all day. I have a neighbour who went through this 5 years ago and she assures me it will get better. I am dreading how I am going to get through next Friday as it would have been our 50th wedding anniversary. I hate keep getting post and e mails for him.
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Aw bless you @Lily12 life is so unfair isnt it ? I was married for 35 years and i loved every moment with him 
xxx
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Wow ! 50 years ! And you shouldnt be getting mail for him !!! Tut tut ! The wallys ! Only recent for you - mind you its nearly 7 months for me and im still crying for him … but he was a lovely special man and loved me so much as i loved him - hard isnt it ? Xx
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I am having to learn how to look after myself. He was the driver. He was the cook. He did most of the washing. What is really frustrating is I can’t find his watches.
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My husbands birthday was the 21st June (Longest day) and our 29th wedding anniversary was the 24th June He died exactly 9 months today
All these milestones are hard to get through I wish you peace and hope you get there x
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Thank you mumcon. My husband died 2 days before his 71st birthday.
I here you, feel you, and empathise. I feel like my whole world life has been ripped from under me, but we have to keep moving forward I guess
Sending love and hope to you x
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I have only just seen this post. But everything you wrote. I would substitute my passion of reading for music. I used to read a book a week at least. Now it’s a book a month if I am lucky. My husband had lung cancer diagnosed 28th February died 25th April. No symptoms. Found by accident. He was 57. I am 57. So a decade older than you. I look at the extent of how long I may have left on my own. And it puts me into pure panic! My job I hate. I went back after 8 weeks. I was only getting sick pay. Sending you all the love. I have his ashes at home. He sits on the sofa with me at night. And he comes up to bed at night. In the bed on his side. He also travelled down to his dads today. Take care my lovely xxx
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@Rammie I’m am truly sorry that your husband died.
I get so upset that my passion for my hobbies has gone. It seems so cruel that not only have our lives as we knew it ended, and our soulmates died, but it feels like that wasn’t enough for the grief monster and it also took away the hobbies which were always mine, the things that made me happy and gave me joy.
I just hope that my brain will heal enough to give space for those things again.
This week I was back working after 12 days annual leave and it really hurt that not one of my colleagues, or my manager, asked what I got up to or even acknowledged I was back. I was not given any work or projects either so this week has been awful. It brought it home to me that they don’t care whether I’m working or not.
I am just planning when to hand my resignation in to make the most of sick pay, health benefits etc. I know i need to leave as I feel sick every night before work, cry during the working day purely due to being ignored by my team.
I have Chris’ ashes here with me and I talk to him throughout the day. I know what his response would be to everything I ask. It just seemed so much easier to act on instinct and make decisions when I had his support, guidance, wisdom and love.
Take care and reach out any time you need to scream, shout, rant or just need someone to acknowledge you.
Rachael xx 
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Simon dad has said if I wanted to hand in my notice he would help me to do so. Till I found something else. When I returned to work only 4 people out of a room of 30 acknowledged that my husband had died. They have since systematically tried to get me wound up or into trouble. It’s like the feel I have the “upper hand” with the boss for special treatment because of my loss! A woman I used to give a lift to and invited him to her 60th birthday party, which we both attended has not even offered her condolences. I can honestly say. I have found out which people care for me. And apart from family. I can count them on one hand. I hope you can get yourself out of the job if it’s not right. I can understand how you feel about making decisions. We always talked them through too. But 4 weeks on. I find I don’t care! I go with my gut instinct because quite literally what, now have I got to lose. The worst thing that can happen to me has. I have arranged to have a DNR put on my doctors notes. So no one has to make the decision. Or if they do they know I want out as soon as possible. If I became ill. I cannot see me accepting treatment either. Every minute, hour, day without him is a waste of my time. Hugs back xx
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My heart goes out to you. I lost my 46 year old soulmate and husband 2.210 from 5 month with Lung cancer. I did not think I would survive. I hated it that I had no control over my emotions. I still can not listen to music that he played or we liked. We have 3 lovely children who were 12,16,21 at the time. They were my reason for existing. I went back to work 5 weeks after his death. I am a Practice nurse, gradually I started to enjoy work again. Just could not get rid of the empty feeling ,I do have a lovely man in my life, but the children (now adults) do not really like him , they want me to myself. He wants marriage living together etc. I do not, and for ages felt like I was being unfaithful. I can not see me ever getting married again. We were together 27 years. I then lost my best friend who got me through Luke’s death, Lung cancer 28 days was all she had age 55. I have to think that he wanted to live so much, it is up to me to make the most of every day because each day is a gift.I hope you find some peace. I am a spiritualist which has also helped.
Best wishes xx
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@TraceyBR I am interested that you are a spiritualist. Have you been able to speak to your husband or had signs from him ?
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Yes on many occasions. I went to the first one just to see what it was all about, not really expecting anything. The medium came straight to me. She was from Scotland. She described Luke perfectly, the music he liked, the obsession with gigs. his tumour his attitude his looks. This could have been classed as co incidence, until the medium said that if I want to feel his presence I needed to get his wedding ring from the leather pouch in my handbag that the Funeral director had given me. I had forgotten it was there. scrabbled around and pulled leather pouch out with wedding ring in exactly as she said. I do not go much now until I get an overwhelming urge that I need to go. 9 x out of 10 I will get a message, not always from him. At first it upset me as made him more dead. However as time goes on, I understand he is always with me, just on another plane x
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