I lost my mum suddenly 9 weeks ago and returned to work 5 weeks ago.
Im a team lead in the NHS but after one week of a phased return, and i felt i was doing ok, i rapidly fell back into the mode of being responsible for everything.
Things that had been acceptable for the team to support with suddenly became unacceptable because i was back, and it got to the stage that i crumbled in an embarrassing fashion and am now off sick until after Christmas.
I hate that I’m off. I hate that my response to these pressures will be written off as bereavement stress when a little kindness would have prevented it. I hate that my devastated dad and brother are battling at out at work while I’m at home all day.
How do you successfully return to work in a pressured environment and deal with day to day niggles when your whole perspective has changed? On the whole i love my job but im struggling to see a way back
@Vicky_1974 @Karen78 Hi ladies I too work for the NHS and have been off since March as my brother had a massive stroke then a bleed and I could not face going to work with all the stress just as I got a bit stronger and felt ready to try my dad was taken to hospital after a fall and unfortunately passed away after 4 weeks in a hospital where some of the staff had no compassion at all and the care was shocking! My dad was desperate for me to get back to work when I was off with stress with my brother so I felt like I wanted to get back for dad but I’m really struggling and it’s been 2 month. My doctor has increased my antidepressants which in turn gives side effects and at the min I’m scared to go back until my mood has improved Incase it adds more stress but then wanting to be back for a bit normality. Although I don’t work at the hospital dad passed away in I’m scared it triggers me when I go back. Sorry for both of you 
Hi @Vicky_1974 yeah weirdly the side effects are basically anxiety aren’t they? I’ve been on my just over 2 weeks now, had a few ok days but did you feel like you were taking 2 steps forward and then go back over and have blips?