It sounds stupid. I was given hamsters for my birthday almost two years ago. i knew they don’t last long. i wasn’t that close with them. but one of them died yesterday. i saw her in the morning. i fed her. gave her a treat. my plan was to go about my day then clean the one out as if done the other one the day prior. i came home from college and stayed downstairs for a while. my older sister asked me to go with her for a little drive. i said yes but i went up to my room first. i dont know why. i went up to my room. opened the door and just felt strange. i opened a window and left. i came back a few minutes later and started watching TV. As i was about to start cleaning the hamster out. i saw her laying there. i thought she was sleeping even though she always burrowed but this time she was just laying there. i talked to her, it usually wakes her up. i stroked her and she still didn’t move. she felt so stiff. the shock of it caused me to be in denial that she was dead. she looked like she was sleeping. she was fine this morning. active, eating, playing. only to be this lifeless now. i’m burying her. but i just keep crying over her.
i know it’s just a hamster. and this website may not be for that. But i’m young and never really experienced death before. nobody i’ve known has died. but i guess finding my hamster like this after knowing she was okay this morning has become such a realism for me. how pets and people can be there one minute and gone the next with no warning. i didn’t once think she would’ve died that day. why would i think that? she was perfect in the morning. It sounds stupid and i feel stupid for crying so much but it’s making so many things go through my head about death as im not familiar with it. how long do i have with the people i love? will i know when it happens? do i make everyday like its their last? its so weird and i just wanted to get my first ever experience of death out there.