After the loss of my Mother 4 years ago, me and my older brother have been up and down.
He wants to have arguments about some horrible things that are not true.
I have tried to just get on with things but its not nice to have this going on. I have try to talk to him but that dose not work.
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Hello @KJ85 ,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your Mum and I am sorry for the stress that this has had on your relationship with your brother. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” for you - hopefully someone will have some thoughts to share.
Take good care,
Alex
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Dear KJ85, So sorry that you are being hurt so much by your brother after the loss of your dear mum . I lost my dear husband 3 years ago and have found life so dreadful without his love and support. My adult children along with their partners have withheld themselves and my darling grandchildren from me over this time if I do not comply with what they want me to do. I have got so low sometimes that I have got very close to ending my life. I am lucky to have two close friends who have pulled me back from doing so and they have set up call blocking from my childrens phone calls to me. This situation has left me utterly bereft and so so stressed. Hope things improve for you you are not alone hugs to you from CAZ3Jxxxx
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Dear CAZ3J
I read your message and cannot believe what I was seeing. I’m so upset for you. I cannot imagine life without my children in it, especially at a time of devastating loss.
I lost my beloved Dad on October 1st last year and we are all devastated. My dear mum is heartbroken and i cannot imagine how she would cope on a daily basis without me, my brother and her grandchildren.
I am so sorry that your children (& partners) are being so selfish and simply very cruel to you - yes there are 2 sides to every story, but whatever it they feel has happened for them to be this way is no justification for witholding the love and presence of your grandchildren.
I obviously don’t know what has happened, but have you tried to maybe write to them? Or would your 2 close friends be able to intervene perhaps and go and see them on your behalf. Don’t get me wrong, after 3 years of this i can’t imagine that life will be the same but at least you’d have a chance to build a relationship with your grandchildren. 
I truly wish you lots of love & luck.
Keep reaching out, it helps to talk.
Teresa xxxx
Dear KJ85
sibling rivalry, jealousy or whatever it is that your brother has going on is awful and can be completely devastating.
You say you can’t talk to him, he simply won’t listen… what about a letter. By nature as human beings we are nosey, so he wouldn’t be able to resist reading it, just a thought.
Since my dear Dad passed away in october last year, things have been very difficult between myself and my brother and his wife. Don’t get me wrong we converse over whatsapp but very limited, but I’ve not seen him or spoken to him on the phone since my Dad passed. The longer it goes on the worse it will get I fear. Certain things were said and done (or more accurately NOT said and NOT done) surrounding my Dads death, funeral and beyond that it will always be a major problem between us for me.
I hope your brother is able to grow up and resolve this, but I imagine the first move (maybe a letter or email) will have to come from you.
Good luck, that underlying feeling of unpleasantness is horrible, i hope we both get some relief from it.
Take care
Teresa xx
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Thank you for your kind words