Yes the anniversary and the meet up with my sister have now passed. Thankfully without any dramas. I think my sister, who is very greedy, was more focussed on the lunch we had than anything else. It was a lovely meal but far too much for me, huge plates of food. She was in a fairly good mood for her and there were no snidely remarks for once. I keep thinking she is softening me up for the next attack. I just need to be ready.
I have found the days since the anniversary harder I think. The build up seemed so long and the day itself. It does feel very final now but somehow will get through.
I hope things are equally as calm for you. No horrible texts or phone calls. As you say, stay strong as best you can.
How are you? I was wondering about how you were getting on and saw your post on another thread this morning. Have things settled down for you? I hope your sister is keeping her distance. I keep mine at arms length as best I can. Her most recent announcement was she is having part of her house redecorated and she will come and stay with me whilst it is done. She seemed surprised when I said that did not work for me. ‘But that is what sisters do for each other’ was her reply. Er no it isn’t!
Hello Mel, I was just going to post to you after viewing your reply to a new poster, then I see you wrote to me (Thank You). I have missed being on the site, and realize how much I need it. What nerve your sister has to “assume” she could just stay with you, after her treatment towards you. Yes that is what “sisters do for each other” when the relationship has been mutually loyal, loving and respectful. however you and I have not experienced that with our siblings, therefore there would be a great discomfort and lack of safety in having them under the same roof with us. I have been on a roller coaster with my older sister, goes from being bombarded with texts, and written notes, and her demanding immediate responses despite the fact I am working, and Grieving. When I do answer, she is not pleased with what I say, and accuses me of “with holding information about funds.” Then I get the silent treatment, until she surfaces again, and in between I live in fearful anticipation of her next move. I joined a Support Group at the hospital that treated my sister’s cancer, and attended one session thus far. I am also looking into individual therapy to help me stop giving my older sister the power to intimidate me, and interfere with my grieving process. July was the month we got the diagnosis, and the biopsy was soon after that, so this Summer last year was the beginning of the cancer journey with my beloved younger sister. The other sister was not part of that, (was not speaking to us) and she cares nothing of what this is like for me to re-live every moment and dread this year ahead. On a lighter note, I also “dog-sit” for a dear friend, and agree that dogs can be comforting and help us to connect with others. Sorry for this being so long, and thank you again for listening. I hope your days are getting easier and you can find some solace in your own space and garden. Here for you and everyone.
Take care.