Family dynamics and separation after Mom passed away

My mom was 56 when she passed away last year in oct and its been a little over 7 months and I see the family dynamics change and could see a split in the family probably this crack was always there. Mom was the only lady in the house and me, my dad and brother all felt comfortable talking to her but ever since she passed away we are just struggling. Dad behaves like nothing has changed, my brother is creating scenes and drama and creating life hell even after taking him to a physiatrist and I am just scared and numb always. My career has taken a hit too. I don’t understand if the best would be for us to split and live our individual live alone or figure out and solve this although we have tried a lot in this last few months and end up getting worse. I even went to a psychologist but nothing worked, I can’t live like this scared all the time

Focus on you Varun. I hight recommend healing music, 417Hz , also 396hz, these are free on youtube. Also walks in nature, get yourself healing slowly no matter what they are doing. Meditation helps too. Focus on your future, your work, your body and mind. You cannot control them.
Maybe something like cooking for them , creating a nice family meal at least once a week could help start something positive if you do not do this already

You know sophie I try to do all these things but I am struggling now to sleep and even eat with so much fear inside of me. I on this platform try to help others but sometimes I just hit rock bottom. I have become very confused with everything and even the smallest decision now looks difficult. I am not only grieving but afraid about things going more worse or either my mentally ill brother killing him or someone else at home. I am sorry to be talking so unfiltered but I am very scared. I am the youngest one at my home and still takes all the responsibility

The music might help with fear, and also meditation etc, time in nature and time with other family and friends, focusing on work etc. If you isolate yourself and spend too much time at home their issues are all you will think about.
Maybe you can all go for a daily walk for fresh air, then nice meals together. get your other family to help too

I get your point thankyou, I have been working from home but I feel I need to get out of this zone

This sounds so tough for you all, @Varun. I’m worried to hear that you’re feeling confused, scared and struggling to sleep and eat. As @Sophie8 says, focusing on your own wellbeing is important, too. Please do think about going back to your doctor and telling them how you’re feeling - you deserve care and support.

There are organisations which you can turn to for support. Befrienders Worldwide can show you what’s available closer to home. You might also want to look at:

  • Aasra have a 24/7 helpline available for anyone in distress or despair. You can call them on +91-9820466726.
  • LiveLaughLove Foundation has a list of helplines and places to find emotional support on their website.

Take good care, @Varun and please, reach out for help.



Thankyou, I will have to take some step for myself