Apparently my post has been removed - sorry.
I needed more than free six sessions counselling. So have had to wait each time. Otherwise huge bills to have to pay privately. I dont think it is worth the outlay unless you have lots money
Dose anybody have any information on bereavement cafes Are they worth going to ?
Sherbert 10 : Try an internet search for bereavement cafes near you. I go to a monthly one near Nortwood Middx and its well attended by some lovely people all ages and it provides a place where you can be with like minded people who share your experiences. Give it ago, even one you need to travel to. Good luck!
I have found a bereavement cafe near where I live . It held once a month I guess itās plucking up the courage to walk though the door when I donāt know anyone there
Sherbert Daunting at first but everyone makes you feel welcome very quickly. It will be a few visits before you find your group
Thank you I have just missed 1of the meetings . The next one not till February, Iāll you know how I get on
Sherbert If you know when the next meeting is and the venue and the time then just turn up. Or if you can find details online contact the administrator
Thanks for that Iāll have a look see if I can find one and contact them
I havenāt gone to a designated one calling itself that but there is one calling itself something else but all widows no widowers.
I prefer a lunch club as there is a widower there I can talk to.
I find it easier than all women.
I went to a bereavement cafe which run by a local church last week. I found just being able to talk how I felt to people who understand beneficial , I came away feeling so much lighter
Dear @Trixie1
Your posts have made me sad , and resonated so much with me.
Iām 3 years, 5 months, 21 days inā¦ could be yesterday. I still feel utterly alone, desperately sad, all the time. No one understands why I still feel the same, I fact worse , it just gets harder and harder to live without Phil .
No one asks anymore, no one cares. They all assumed because āI carry on, go to work, Iām ābetterā . Iām not.
Iāll never be the same person again. Iāve changed. I think everyone just wants to see us āback to our old selvesā
I think itās that lack of complete understanding that makes our grief so isolating, and so so exhausting.
My Mum is the worst. She likes to tell me about things she has heard on day time TV chat programmes, or read in magazines. Mostly about people who she says have āmoved onā itās told to me in a way , so why havenāt you?
(My Mum and Dad still together and have each other - ofcourse Iām glad they are, but still makes me feel cheated , that they still have that, and that me , their daughter is dealing with being the widow.
Part of me likes the sadness because it keeps Phil very very close to me. I exist in a bubble, that is just us, itās my protection, and itās safe in there .
What we must all do, us just carry on doing what is best for us. Noone can tell us how we should be, we canāt even tell each other, because all our grief is so personal.
Why itās so lonely and so utterly exhausting.
Sorry for the long rambling post
Love, hugs and strength to you all
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You speak to my heart
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Exactly true. What was refreshing abiut having a break away time is that no one mentions it as they do not know your situation. I was sitting alone on a seat and another person chats and never see them again. Yet i remember them. Just sharing the moment. I went on the bus and i caught this cold from there.
I understand completely. My family are the same. Iām still very early on in my grief, but my family have told me I need to start moving forwarding and they pressured me into moving house, saying I wouldnāt cope been alone and been so far away from them and been so close to my partners family - alot of issues with them. Which, I now regret. Itās important to remember that nobody truly understands what we are going through, unless Theyāve been through it themselves. Iāve lost alot of friends too as they just donāt know what to say to me anymore so they donāt contact me.
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Dear Kelmarie
Iām so sorry you are finding like me, that family and friends sometimes just donāt understand.
All I can say is that everyone on here knows what youāre going through and will always listen.
Look after yourself x
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I sometimes donāt like it where I am living. My neighbour isnāt supportive. So that is stressful because our kitchen doors face each other and can hear everything if the door is open with only a fence separating. Same with the drive. It feels like being in a fishbowl. She tries to micro manage. I feel so exposed being so overlooked in every direction.
I imagine how it would be the opposite but it has always been like that.
I have a distant friend who likes to micromanage. I think everyoneās life if she could. It gives her a sense of control I guess. Iām only glad she doesnāt live too close! And, she canāt seem to manage even minor things at times.
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It is tricky. I admjt I do not cope very well but wgat i need is gelp to choose myself
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