Ok, so can I ask if anyone has had particular issues with family?? So to be brunt and this is not easy , my hubby’s brother who has ignored us for over 2 years all a sudden wants to speak with me about assets!!!
Omg , can’t do this :disappointed::disappointed:

I’d be inclined to tell him it’s not appropiate time to speak about assets, as you are grieving.
If it is his business regardng assets, then he can wait.
If there is no rush, then do everything in your good time.

1 Like

Hi. Mrs. T1. It seems to me the world is divided between those who care and those who don’t. Assets are about the last thing you want to think about. It’s far too early for you to worry about things like that. As Daffy says, tell him to wait, and if he doesn’t like it then hard luck. It’s so important to look after yourself and your own welfare. In grief we can make decisions we would not normally make because our thoughts are all over the place.
You need more time. You say you can’t do it, then don’t, at least not yet.
Take special care of yourself and never be persuaded to do things that upset you by uncaring people. John.

1 Like

Tell him to F off :angry:


Thank you all for your support, I have had another text today asking for a meeting this week! I have ignored it, like he ignored my husband for over two years!! I am just not ready for this and I wouldn’t trust myself to be rational :disappointed:

Dear Mrs T1
I love Mrs Colt’s reply! It was my first thought when I read your post. If he has ignored you for two years, then he can get stuffed! Don’t let him bully you and if necessary report him to the police. Have you got someone you can turn to for help? I hate it when I hear of a man bullying a woman, and bullying is what it is. Good luck, and don’t take any old nonsense from him or anyone else!
Hugs, Ann

1 Like

Nicely put, Mrs Colt!

I’m in agreement with all your replies. The first thing that sprung to my mind was MrsColt’s reply. What has your husbands assets got to do with him anyway. DON’T let him bully you. You are vulnerable and we can do things in haste at a time like this. If you have someone who can give you support then ask for it. Otherwise wait until you feel ready or better still tell him to get lost.

I say it as I see it Ann :wink:

:rofl::rofl: I could have said the whole word I was being polite only using the F :rofl:

Hi Mrs T
I have been thinking about you today. If your brother in law is mentioned in a will then pass his request to a solicitor who should take care of it. If not then why is he pestering you. You could contact Age UK who I am informed are very good and can advise you. Then there is also the CAB.
On death people will come out of the woodwork for what they can get their hands on.
At this moment in time you need to take care of yourself and not have added worries.
Good luck

MrsT1 I have has not issues as such with family but “chats”: my husband dint get on with his brother who is extremely close to his mum so much so it almost seems unhealthy . They didn’t have a good childhood from what I can gather and as I said my husband dint get on with his brother and my husband wouldn’t have him at the house. Since my husband has passed 7 weeks ago his brother wanted to come to the house to have a “ chat” this “ chat” took place last night . Afterward I reflected on this chat and felt his only reason was to explain how his mum had been affected by the way my husband treated her . He wasn’t derogatory or anything towards his mum he just kept her at arms length. My brother in law said I had to sit and watch my mum crying due to how she was feeling over the reception she got off my husband , well I too had to watch my husband sob because he felt he didn’t have a mum . Because I went along with my brother in law wanting this chat I’m now left feel as if I have been disrespectful to my husband as he would have allowed such a chat to ever take place . I have done what I think was best and as far as I’m concerned that’s it now he’s had his opportunity to say his piece and that’s it now we won’t be playing happy families things or history hasn’t changed just because my husband is no longer here

Hi thanks for your reply x nope not mentioned in the will, my hubby left everything to me as he said , you know what I would want. Well I think I do and will fulfill this as best as I can x This has more to do with items my husband had of their parents and their late brother , which my husband tried to sort out over many years as I said to be ignored! I feel it shows lack of caring or remorse for him to be bothering me now , just 4 months after his brother passed ! in his messages he doesn’t even say how are you, nothing just we need to talk!! I even tried to contact him for him to add some detail into the funeral, to be greeted with ‘ I don’t know what you know about him do I’ :disappointed:
I really don’t want to ever speak to him, he can have the items , they mean more to him than me! But I will sort it out when I’m ready not when I’m told to :rage:

Hi Kazz, well your braver than me! I can’t even bring myself to answer his texts never mind the phone calls and tbh the thought of him even setting foot inside my home feels me with dread :disappointed:. He has always been strange, a loner - no matter how much help he was offered it would never be enough . Think that’s why my hubby gave up on trying to help him x.
As I’ve said I will do things in my own time not when I’m told too x
Really don’t need the aggravation though!!

Tbh, I’ve had the opposite! My hubby was a very generous trusting person. The amount of people who owed him money was untrue! He would help anyone. When I have approached people about paying this back the response had been unbelievable, basically ‘ he’s dead , prove it’ ! Not just ransoms family too :pleading_face:. My faith in humanity had all but ceased!! :broken_heart:

Yep, going through hell at the mo. Have recieved some horrible,almost bullying messages. I will not back down. Don’t do it until you are 100% ready. Death and vultures is all I can say.x

1 Like

Yup I truly know that feeling :pleading_face:

Sound sensible advice from Sheila, make sure you cover yourself. No wonder your faith in humanity has ceased.
My husband’s daughters didn’t help my faith either. They didn’t want to help me with the funeral and then moaned about everything. After sending them many letters and trying to make contact by phone I gave up. I had offered them things that belonged to their father but as i received no reply I made other arrangements and then I received a telephone call from a third party for his one daughter (couldn’t even call herself) saying she wanted her fathers scooter as he had left it to her and to get it ready for them to collect. I informed her politely that her father had not left her his scooter and as she had refused to answer my letters I had now sold it. I would have been happy to give her the scooter if they had showed better manners. I let them have everything that I had found relating to them, their father and mother and have never heard from them since. Thank goodness. Have people no shame.

1 Like