Family

My partner of 42 years died suddenly and unexpectedly 9 months ago, 3 days later I had a massive heart attack and cardiac arrest. I was clinically dead for 10 minutes but I was revived with a 5% chanc of survival. But survive I did. I have severe damage now to my heart and had to take early retirement from the job I loved because it was too stressful.
Little did I realise that was only the start of my problems.
My partner and I had nothing in writing, not even a will.
Her brothers therefore who hadn’t spoken to her for 15 years ( not even when she was battling cancer ) stepped in and took all her savings. Money she was saving for us to move to the coast when we retired in 2 years time.
She was my life, I wish I hadn’t been saved but I was. My life without her is nothing but torment. Despite counselling I just cannot move on. I’ve lost everything.
My soulmate, my job, my health and even my faith.

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Hello Tobyj9Jack
Sorry to read about your devestating loss. I lost my Husband in October due to cardiac arrest/congestive heart failure and I know what you mean when you use the term “torture”. Your partner’s family behaved badly and I can only imagine how much this impacts on your grieving as well. Their actions are cruel but sadly not unheard of. Loss of future plans, what should and could have been and living between what was and what is, is the most painful experience isn’t it. I’m really sorry I cannot be more positive as I too am struggling very badly. All we can do is hope to get stronger. Kindest regards

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try to be kind to yourself…we do tend to be far too hard on ourselves…

if you have the time please look at this link

www.self-compassion.org

Hi, my heart goes out to you, not only have you had to deal with the loss of your loved one but also your own health and then when you feel things can’t get worse along come relatives, sadly I see this kind of thing a lot, I have just gone back to work in a care home after losing my hubby to a heart attack last Feb and it no longer surprises me when relatives who have never visited all put in an appearance when a “loved one” passes I likened it to leeches, sadly some people have no compassion,guilt, morals or an understanding of what you are going through, luckily for us this site exists where we can all emphasize with each other and share our feelings. sending best wishes your way

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