I found out today that my dad killed himself, it wasn’t a heart attack. Which is what I was previously told by my mum, which I found out was to protect my sibling and I. I understand why she wanted to protect my sibling and but It’s confusing as to why I was told
It was a heart attack when it didn’t happen. It seems one thing after another. It was suicide why can’t it be said. Immediate family know but everyone has been told it’s a heart attack which is untrue. It is suicide. There is never an easier way to tell someone and I understand that but it feels surreal and hard to accept.
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Hi @Luna5,
I’m so sorry to hear about your dad and sorry to hear you’ve just found out why he died. I can understand that must be incredibly difficult to accept.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share these links with you to help you with your grief.
You might already be familiar with our other Online Bereavement Support services, but if not, you can find out more about our Online Counselling service, our Grief Coach text support service, and our Grief Guide self-help tools by visiting the link.
Survivors of Bereavement Suicide is also another great place to get support.
Please do keep talking.
Take care,
Becca
Online Community Team
Hello, so very sorry to hear about your dad so very sad for you all must be very painful to come to find this out. How old was you when this happened, perhaps your mum was just trying to protect you both and thought this was the kindest thing to say, she was probably in shock herself as well. So sorry I really don’t know what to say. Sending you all lots of love and hugs X
I am in my early early 20s and mum told us it was suicide yesterday, he died a week ago. Thank you for your support.
Hello again Luna5, so sorry about the long delay in responding to your message. I wish I had some words of comfort for you but can only say how truly sorry that you are going through this and having to try to process everything and cope with such a huge shock. You are incredibly brave to post what has happened and to have to go through this at such a young age much be so much worse. I hope you won’t mind me sharing with you that when my dad died I felt that I was watching it all in a movie everything felt very strange and people were going about their lives as normal which I remember felt all wrong. Please be kind to yourself, take comfort in friends and family and look after yourself. Sending you all the biggest hug X
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I’m really touched to find someone else who has honestly opened up to say that awful word “suicide”. My father died from suicide in August last year. It has been the worst thing in my life & there is this stigma about it… I have been open about it & have felt peoples discomfort… not knowing what to say etc. but I feel freed by knowing the truth. It’s the most heartbreaking way to lose a loved one & to some extent (we are different people & of a different age) but I can empathise with you.
I’m so sorry for your loss! Sending my prayers to you. Normally I find that word too hard to say and refer to it as the “S word”. There is a stigma and I’m sure there will be for a long time. However, if it happens close to you then you have no choice to accept and speak about it, it helps. Sometimes there are no words for a situation however sitting in silence with a person you love, I think is just as comforting.
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Absolutely… 2 nights ago I burst out crying several times. My husband grabbed the loo roll & just put his arms around me. He didn’t have to say a word. I hadn’t cried in days & when that happens I feel like there’s something wrong with me… like I don’t care or something… but I know that’s just the human capacity to save oneself from devastation. I appreciate you saying prayer… as I do pray… that’s how I cope… but not everyone wants to hear that. As this is your experience I wanted to be respectful of whatever you may believe or feel. Keep praying for strength, endurance, wisdom & understanding. I hope today was a positive one & you have been able to smile 
You are extremely brave