Father-In-Law refusing food & drink

My FIL has been refusing food and water / reduced his intake dramatically for about a week now.

I spoke with the nursing home manager where he is currently staying, and they are finding him very difficult to assist as he has become very uncooperative.

I’m not angry at my FIL, however I am sad as I don’t know what we are supposed to do or say in this situation.

Nobody wants him to suffer in any prolonged way, but my FIL has been fairly conflicted about his requests, sometimes eating a full breakfast but seldom eating much else.
He has less than a half glass of water a day, which is naturally causing issues.

My husband and I are bracing ourselves for the worst but it seems like this is going to take some time and it’s really taking a toll on my husband.

Hello Gwenny,

Just some ideas from my experience with my mother.

How old is your father in law?

How long has he been in the home?

Has something changed there recently or is there a problem with one of the carers or residents he doesn’t like?

Has something happened to prompt this, a bereavement ?

If he’s uncooperative there’s bound to be a reason why- is the food, tea and coffee nice or not ?

Can he go out for outings ? to your home or in the gardens? Does he have anything to do all day?

My mother at 98 did something similar and I think she felt she was a burden and didn’t want to be. I know she felt useless in the last few months of her life as she struggled to walk about and hated using a wheelchair.

She also hated the care home and to be honest I can’t blame her, she was only there two weeks after a hip replacement it was supposed to be one of the better ones and it was awful. Beautifully furnished and decorated but the staff had no time for the residents, they had nothing to do all day but watch T.V. and the food was awful. She used to cry when I left her.

It’s really sad when this happens there maybe something you can do if it’s a problem with the home or if he’s just given up on life maybe not.

All you can do is support your husband as best you can and try to find out if there is a reason for his behaviour. Best wishes ,Sx

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