We have just lost my Father in law 4 days ago ), my husbands stepdad he was 87
He had many health problems but he died from covid .
My husband had tested positive ( only symptoms are a very mild cold ,)
So he wasn’t able to say goodbye to him or be there for his mum when she needed him the most.
His dad left when he was 13 so he became the man of the house so he has a very close relationship with his mum and her with him.
His stepdad was like a dad to him and has been for 35 years
My husband is not an emotional person but he has cried so much the last 4 days , I think he has shocked him so much that he cries and feels the way he does
.we finally saw his mum yesterday and although I knew it wouldn’t make everything better , I knew how much he needed to see her I hoped that he might at least sleep better last night but he didn’t
This is the first time either of us have lost someone this close to us and naively we didn’t realise it would be this hard.
We just feel empty , numb ?
My head just won’t accept we will never see him again. Yesterday it felt like he was just in hospital and that next time we go round he’ll be sitting in his chair as usual.
We are very close to my in laws, we saw them every weekend and often went out for meals , days out etc
It’s just the weirdest feeling , he was such a HUGE part of our lives and now hes gone
We have amazing people supporting us and I know time helps but at the moment it hurts so much
I am trying to stay strong for my husband but I’m struggling , as soon as we go to bed my mind starts thinking about it all.
My husband is worried about his mum now shes on her own now.
The whole covid situation is just making everything worse
I am hoping he might be able to go to the chapel of rest to say his goodbyes but don’t know if he will be able to because his stepdad did of covid ?
Why is death so final …
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I will not list the details, but both sets of parents and more recently in June my Helen passed away, the crying reduced the loss, grief anger denial self doubt and blaming does reduce. The expectation of them walking in a door, the cooking for two, these will I hope stop. Its easy to say stay strong as well as cry if you’re in need to. Don’t bottle the emotional side, I have truly stood in a lonely place and shouted to vent feelings. Be prepared to talk, sometimes a person does truly empathize and understand. Virtual Hugs xxx take care
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