Another first, Father’s Day without Sue, although I have had a wonderful weekend, seeing family, being taken out for meal, day out at coast and lots of company and gifts and cards , Sue was not here to share the day with me, once again I get home and feel the guilt and loneliness creeping in, guilty of having a good day when Sue did not see this day or share the day, emotions just get the best of me and I sit with tears rolling down my cheeks… I hate these times and miss her so much x
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This was our first Father’s Day too without my husband and my 4 children’s amazing Dad.
It is so hard isn’t it. Try not to feel guilty though - I’m sure she wouldn’t want you to feel that way. We can’t be miserable all the time - there needs to be some little joys in our lives at times even if they are clouded by our grief. And the ache of missing her must be awful too. I know how that feels.
We decided to go for a trip and do what we had often done on previous fathers days and even though the weather was awful and we got cold and wet, we did have some laughs as we talked about how their dad would have had a great time - mainly because he would have been with us and that’s what made him happy.
The kids made a cake for him as they always did but it just isn’t the same is it. It breaks my heart that I can’t make it better and that at every celebration we will just miss him being here with us.
Tears are good - we need them to feel our grief - although I often wonder how I can cry so much.
Hope tomorrow is a quieter day and you can rest your thoughts and feelings somewhat. Xx
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It is a difficult time but distractions are the best . My son was very sad and a bit uptight but I booked some cinema and I took us for a meal and it made the day easier
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Yeh thats whar i got told by a dr on the allotment … distractions ! But i feel very alone atm … xx
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Well I thought distraction would be the best thing to do I booked a meal out with all the family… it gave me a glimmer of joy to be with family but things didn’t work out as planned… and my daughter disappeared at the beginning of the meal and never came back! She just couldn’t cope with all the dads there with there family’s and walked home… so the day turned to sadness it’s made me realise for our family it’s best to avoid significant days together or birthdays ect… as it’s an awful reminder there not here anymore
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I’m so sorry your day didn’t quite work out how you had hoped. Im not sure what the right thing is to do most of the time. But for me and my kids I feel as if doing something on these special days is better than avoiding them - my husband and their dad was always active so it feels right for us to at least try do something.
We had decided to go to my nephews wedding at the weekend, which was happy and sad and was ok to start with, but it then became a complete disaster as we all fell off that grief cliff and ended up in tears and for 2 of my kids in huge amounts of distress. I Wish we hadn’t gone.
The day after was Father’s Day and we visited the coast - played putting in the pouring rain and ate ice cream. Was so bad we all ended up laughing. My husband would have liked that.
You just need to do what’s right for you on each day and perhaps try be there for each other.
His birthday is in 3 weeks - not sure how we will manage that one.
It is good that you wanted to try and don’t give up if you want to try again on another special day - I hope they get easier as time passes. Xxx
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Aw …m just make it a small event next time ? I gind with my kids best to keep it on a one to one or just a few of us … they’re still grieving …All these awful reminders of days gone by … so hard … baby steps i think ? Xx
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Thankyou for your reply yes I guess I should really ask them what they want to do… Mabe they just wanted quiet time… I guess I forgot there grieving too and we each cope differently… I can’t turn the clock back now…
When I think about my partner wasn’t really bothered with Father’s Day he just thought it was another commercial excuse for company’s to make money…
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Thankyou yes constant reminders Mabe next year will be that little bit easier who knows I guess go with the flow…
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Yeh my kids have really struggled too and ive done things right and not right so youre not alone their … im learning xxx
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