Fear of forgetting

Today marks 1 year and 35 weeks since my wife Nicki passed. My memory has never been great, but since the loss of Nicki it has become much, much worse, I seem to do so many things in an automatic trance-like mode that by the end of each day I struggle to recall what I have done earlier in the day. Over the last few weeks, I have found myself starting to worry more and more about forgetting details of my life with Nicki, simple things like how we used to laugh and joke with each other, how we supported each other, things like that. Just surviving each day takes so much energy that the passing of time seems to erase just a tiny bit more of precious memories and feelings. I think that is why I like to be surrounded by Nicki’s possessions and photographs of her, it helps to keep her more alive to me than would otherwise be possible, and that’s the only way I can get through each day.

I just wonder if anyone else shares this same fear of forgetting details of their life with their lost loved one?


I quite agreed, not long after Doug died, I panicked I couldn’t remember the sound of his voice, I found the DVD of our daughters wedding and listened to him giving his dad of the bride speech.
Of course I hadn’t forgotten, grief plays strange tricks on the mind.
He is all around our home, photos, memories of our life together, I often spray his aftershave around just to keep happy memory’s alive.
Just take it one day at a time and be kind to yourselves.