I’m not quite sure how to put this into words. After watching my Mum grow increasingly sicker and then suddenly dying at home last summer, I have struggled enormously with my grief. I had to change my career in order to distance myself a little from the trauma of those who were suffering emotionally or physically and to consider new ways of connecting with the world again. I have since been utterly terrified at the thought of losing my Dad too. He has been exhibiting some signs of illness after being a very fit man throughout his life, which are under investigation but are suggestive or early Parkinson’s. I was a main support for my Mum in translating some of the aspects of her illness to my family due to being in the health service as my profession before I took a step away from that. I find myself frequently breaking down at the thought of being without both of my parents. I don’t have a partner or children and feel like my whole world would collapse, as it already feels unbearable now. I can’t seem to find a way through this and wondered if anyone had any advice.
Mg79
My heart goes out to you.
I lost my only sister 6 years ago, and my husband of 41 years 3 weeks ago.
I too have no children and my Mum who is 91 and who has been a wonderful support, t lives with me.
I found myself being constantly anxious about my Mum and my 19 year old niece with the ‘what if’’ agony but then I thought by all this agonising you are missing the ‘here and now’ and adding more misery to the grieving process. The reality is that we are ruminating on something we have no control over, so I try and ‘live in the moment’ and every time my mind starts thinking about the future I practise ‘pulling back’ to the present which is all we have… It is not easy. It is a practised thought process but it does give you some respite from the agony of ‘what if’…
You are grieving your Mother and grief brings anxiety…
It is amazing how far you have come and what you have coped with…
Be kind to yourself and if your feelings about this intensify seek out support from your GP who could maybe help you with Counselling and other ways to reduce your anxiety…
Please know that there are people like myself on this site who know what you are going through…