Fear of Uncertainty

Hi Since losing my Husband in March this year,I have been on this rollercoaster of emotion,as I know all on here have.This last week has been worse than usual for me,when I first lost him,i felt numb,so I suppose my anxiety stayed under the surface,i also did not care if I stayed here on earth or not,i initially wanted to be with him.As the months have passed,my anxiety has resurfaced with a vengeance,suddenly I find myself in FEAR of everything,Fear of not being strong enough to cope for my daughters,Fear of my own immortality,Fear of taking ill myself and no one there,Fear of what the future hols,Fear of losing control,Fear of being lonely,Fear of making decisions,Fear of (and the list goes on,)I have just started CBT therapy so hope that helps.I guess others here have same feelings,I do read self help books and the mind is the key to helping oneself feel better?From not caring one jot about myself,i seem to now focus inwardly a lot.Just wondered if anyone had thoughts on this,hope I haven’t made anyone feel even more fed up with this post,just wanted to write it ,its good to get your feelings out sometimes,Hugs to everyone here today ,I know I need a few x

Hi Robina, the answer to your question, is a very big - definitely and some times you feel totally helpless to stop these feelings/worries, they seem to come up behind you and attached themselves to your every move. You do lose some and then collect others but at other times they have gone and you are free, enjoy those times. This grief thing is very strange because until you have experience it you can not understand grief and when it’s you others don’t understand it or you.
It will get better, good days that extend into a week and that’s how it works but some of it will always remain waiting for you to get over confederate and then, we’ll thats my personal experience. Had a really good few days going into weeks then today, totally lost it and now reading your post made me think, just get on with it but it’s hard.
Thanks for your post, it’s helped me and I know others will sympathies with what you wrote. The main thing is to know you are not alone nor the only one with these worries. Listen to your inner voice and take care of yourself. Blessings.

Hi Susie123 just want to thank you for your reply,yes i agree some days are Sooooooooooooooo hard,but i find a lot of comfort in what you say,wishing you more good days on this grief journey.Hugs to you and everyone here x

Reading your reply made me remember a poem about the sea shore and that this tide keeps comeing in and covering you with grief but in time you learn to walk back up the beach to avoid getting covered. I am still trying to walk back up the beach, think I will have to start running up that beach. It sounds so sensible as a poem but in real life not so sure.
Any one for Blackpool? The tide goes a long way out there.
Yes smile.