Why can’t I do the most simplest of tasks! Paid my husband’s tesco credit card last Thursday via automated phone call. Not showing on joint bank account as having gone through yet…should have by now 
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Phoned both banks to get an explanation. Got in a muddle putting a requested digits in. I’m absolutely useless without my Chris
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Hi Pickle. It can be very hard trying to do things when we lose someone we loved.I was the same for the first couple of months. Can you not go into the bank as someone in there will help. Take care
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Hi Karen it is perfectly normal for you to have problems with things you’re not used to doing. Apart from everything else you are upset, frustrated and suffering. These online bank accounts, shopping sites etc are not very clear and easy to do until you have been using them for a while. So try not to beat yourself up about it. My advice would be to get someone you trust who is patient and kind to help you with these things and can take the time to explain how they work. Even six months on,I find a lot of these things irritating,combined with my general lack of interest in things lately puts me off doing many things I should. You are doing well just attempting to do things don’t try to do everything yourself ask for help.
I hope you can relax a little this afternoon.
Wishing you all the strength you need
Tom
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Hi, I’m the same. I hate anything to do with technology. I’ve been trying to set up a savings account for a week but those new security verifications won’t read my passport. I find the call centre people very inept when you have a problem. My deceased partner seemed to take all this in his stride.
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Hi @Piclke
It’s perfectly normal to feel the way you ,you are griefing and it’s hard to sort the most simple of tasks out when you are griefing . My husband did all our household finances out . After he died I didn’t have a clue about it . I had to learn it was a steep learning curve but I got there with the help of my son. Ask for the bereavement teams in anything you have to deal with. They are special trained to help us all when we need them the most . try not to do too much on one day . Make a list of what you need to do and tick them as you go along .
Look after yourself
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All I do is go into panic mode! Probably due to tiredness aswell as grieving. Sorry for moaning!
Don’t worry Karen about moaning. You moan all you want. It’s quite normal to have panic attacks. I’m sure many of the people on this site can tell you what they have done to help themselves with this.
There is a breathing technique which is quite easy which is to breathe in through your nose for four seconds, hold for seven and release slowly for eight. You repeat it four times.
Another possible option is put your face on cold water this also helps to stop panic attacks.
I hope you are feeling a little better now.
Wishing you all the strength you need
Tom
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