Feel alone

I lost my Nan at the end of last year and although she had an lifelong illness, it was sudden and unexpected. I was 25 weeks pregnant at the time and felt I didn’t grieve for her properly due to worrying about my unborn baby. We were very close and she looked after me throughout my childhood whilst my parents worked. I am now on maternity leave and having issues with my marriage and I suddenly feel very lonely and the overwhelming sense of loss for her is horrible. I am in tears most nights and feel she is the only person who I can talk to but then it hits home that I cannot talk to her in person anymore. I have lost family members before but this just feels a hundred times worse. Can anyone advise me how to get through this difficult patch and ways to try and cope with my grief.

Hi Butterfly girl,

I am so sorry to hear that you lost your Nan unexpectedly at the end of last year. This must have been such a difficult time for you and brought up some really complex emotions, particularly as you were pregnant at the time. It is not uncommon for grief to be delayed and is often the case when other life changing events are happening at the same time.

Do you have anyone you can talk to about how you’re feeling? A close friend or family member, perhaps? It’s really important not to hold on to your emotions or bottle them up.

We have a couple of articles on our information pages that may be of some use. One talks about how to cope with bereavement and includes some practical suggestions. The other explores the question of how long grief lasts.

I don’t know whether it’s something you have considered, but we also have an online counselling service available for our community members. You’d be more than welcome to register for that if you feel some additional support would be helpful.

Take care of yourself and let me know if there’s anything I can do to support you.

Best wishes,
Eleanor

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