I lost my mum 7 weeks ago. She lived with me and my two children. It was unexpected, everything was normal sunday night, when we woke up Monday morning, she was gone. My 6 year old daughter found her. I was her next of kin so was responsible for sorting out all the funeral arrangements. I have stayed strong for my children, my nan (her mum), my sister and nephew. Now the funeral is over and Im not distracted by planning, it’s all started to hit me that I will never see her again. My children go to their dad’s every other weekend which means I’m at home now alone. It’s ridiculous but it freaks me out, especially the room she died in. I all of a sudden feel so alone in the world without my mum 
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Hi i am sorry to hear of your loss. My mum passed away 4 months ago, just try to get through each day you will have up and down days. There is right or wrong, you just do what you can. Much love x
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Glitterfairy,
Firstly thank you and well done for posting and so sorry for your loss 
.
You are still at a very early stage of your Grief journey and the feelings you are experiencing are perfectly normal.
You have been on autopilot and now you are beginning to have time to process your grief and thoughts especially when the kids are away!
Can you organise a weekend away with Family or Friends for the times the kids are away? Or would the kids Dad understand if you asked him to keep the kids for a few weekends?
Speak with your GP (or Social Practitioner) , remember it’s good to talk and especially about your Mum, remember it’s ok to feel sad (let family know your emotions) and be kind to yourself.
Keep posting & Take care
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I’m so sorry about the loss of your mum, it’s a horrendous journey to be on & one none of us ever wished for. I completely get the fear because I also have it, I hate when my husband goes away I’m really scared to be on my own. I lost my dad suddenly 18months ago & don’t feel it’s getting any better, I’ve now also started to fear death around my children. Completely irrational I know but it’s all a journey I suppose. The only thing I can say is, the gut wrenching pain you feel does dull over time.
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