I feel so alone at the moment since mum passed away recently, I was busy sorting everything out and emotional but now mum has been buried and everything is done I find myself awaking startled during the night thinking I can hear mum making the noises I heard for 10 weeks before her passing holding my hand and her last smile whilst me singing pal of my cradle days , I comfortive mum 24/7 as her wishes was no meds and I respected this , I moved in with her and sang / stroked her head all comforted her when she seen me at her bedside , I feel I’m crumbling at the moment
Thankyou for reading
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Hello flowery10, you’re going to be fine. It’s still early stages of grieving for you and everything will seem bleak and pointless. But one day you will start to notice a change in yourself. You will find that you have the courage to accept this new life without your mum to pick you up when you fall and that your new goal will be to give it a purpose and find happiness for yourself wherever and whenever you can. Until then keep posting on this forum and share your thoughts. There are many here who are grieving just as you are now. My heart goes out to you.
Sending you huge hugs 
I became mums full time carer for the last year of her life, and remember those heart wrenching final days sitting up all night with her, putting music on and talking to her even though she wasnt responsive. 
Its just so agonising - after she died sometimes i would think i had woken up and would then hear the tap tapping of mums walking stick as she walked to the bathroom, and although i realised i must still be dreaming it was comforting to hear those sounds and imagine for a moment that all was well. 
Do you have any friends or family to support you? It may be worth checking if there are any bereavement support groups in your area so you can connect with others in a similar situation
Thankyou for your supportive messages I will keep using this group , family not very supportive
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