Feel isolated after death of partner of 25 years.

Hi im new here, I have waited almost five months since the light in my life ‘F’ passed away in Manorlands, I was hoping thngs might have improved with time, but its worse than ever, its like a record going around and around and around of holding her hand as she finally fell asleep forever, that last heartbeat and I went into immediate grief and total loss, we had been together for nearly 26 years, we had few close friends, we were that close as soul mates we never needed anyone, so now i cant find any one close to speak with, (my closest family member is almost 400 miles away) so no one talk about my fears and depression, eating even after five months is difficult and have no appetite, I see the doctor every 4 weeks but nothing is improving, as just one month after F died of cancer, so did my favourite aunt who bought me up as a child, so double grief to deal with, F had fought a hard long battle and almost won, when a missed secondary cancer destroyed her, the love & pain of caring for someone since New years Day all the hospital emergencies, i spent so much time caring and watching someone decline so much each day is just something i cant get over, I cant bear to move or even throw away silly things like a tissue in her dressing gown pocket… My greatful thanks go to the Staff at Manorlands for the amazing care at her end of life. Sorry for the long post I need to get a few things out .

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No need to apologise. We all use this site to tell our stories and seek comfort and reassurance. Sorry you are in so much pain.
I lost my husband 4 months ago, he had a cardiac arrest in bed next to me.
I stumble from day to day, trying to find some glimmers of hope.
We will get there and joining this site is a good place to start.
Xx

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Sorry for your loss💔 you have come to the right place for support and understanding , as we are all on the same journey, albeit at different stages. It’s very early days for you and all you can do is take it hour, by hour, day, by day.
I had multiple losses last year, my husband, 5mths later my 15yr old dog, 5 mths again my mum. It’s incredibly hard to claw your way through it all but as time goes on, grief changes, you once again begin to function, the rawness eases, it never goes away, we just become more able to cope with it. It’s a rollercoaster we learn to ride and we all ride it together

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Thank you for replying. I appreciate the support so much. Right now I can barely make my self function. It helps knowing that at some point it might not hurt so much.

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Thank you, and for for loss, its so hard after so many years of being happy.

Thanks for you comments, yes its hard, i never felt so much lonliness in my life as now.

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I am so sorry you find yourself here , I had 52 years with my wonderful man he dies just over two months ago. You will find lots of support from the lovely people here, they will throw you a lifeline when you need it…

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So sorry. I’m nearly a year into this new journey; you do start to function better, but it does take time, and five months is still very early days. Take care of yourself.

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I am so sorry that you lost your dear partner. I understand your feeling of isolation. I lost my husband 5 weeks ago. We don’t have children and I am an only child. So no real family. My husband and I were so good together. We enjoyed being together and didn’t need a lot of other people around. I’m feeling so lost without him. Friends don’t understand how unbelievable the pain is. I am forcing myself to get out of the house everyday in hopes that one day I will begin to see some glimmer of the light again. I keep trying because I know that is what he would want. He always loved me so much and wanted me to be happy in every way. This is what keeps me going.
Please know that this group of people do care and are here to support you.