Haven’t been on for a while as been keeping myself busy. I get through the days mostly ok since losing my mum at Christmas time. I was ostracized at the cremation by my siblings.
So I have not had much support except on here. Where I don’t feel as alone.
I have found that nights are my worse time for grief, as soon as I settle down to sleep all I can see are my mum’s eyes the day she died, it’s like breaking my heart every night as I feel like I’m reliving that last day every night.
I wasn’t there when she took her last breath.
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Hi there. Sending you lots of positive thoughts and hugs. I also lost my mum (january 15th) and i thought things would get easier with each day but i am actually finding the opposite- it seems to get harder. More real each day. The longer its been the longer it is since i saw her.
Nights are definitely harder. Although to be honest i just think being alone in the quiet is hard day or night. Distractions are available in the day whereas they arent at night.
Do you sleep ok?
Its hard to know how to stop seeing their face like that. I try and remember positive things about her and happy times but they always make me sad too. As i wish to go back in time and be there with her. I have lots of dreams about her too and feel really down the next day when i wake up.
Its hard to think positive right now but all we can do is take each day as it comes and hope that what people say about time making things easier to live with is true. I know time wont heal but apparently it should feel less painful and the thoughts of her should become happier memories rather than painful ones. Thats what im hoping for anyway as i cant bear the thought that we will feel like this forever.
Xx
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time will heal you. one never gets over the loss … but the trauma and nightmares, etc., do ease.
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My mum died in January this year. I’ve been finding it hard to sleep since she died. Sleeping pills didn’t even help. When it’s quiet and I’m alone my mind keeps thinking about everything xx
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I’ve given up on sleeping well. 3am is the witching hour where my mind thinks about the trauma and loss. But if I do sleep I wake up and for a moment forget my folks are gone and that hits so much harder.
I hope it eases for you all. Grief is lonely. I don’t have local groups near me so feel alone and sad. I’m still numb I think. The dark days are in the post 
I reckon.
Hang in there. X
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I’m the same, my mum died the week before Xmas and all I see when I close my eyes is her face that last day.
Like you I try to focus on the happier times.
Sending you hugs x
Sending you hugs, it is so lonely when you have no one around who can be there for you.