Feel numb

Back in August we lost our mum 3 months after she was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer.
I cried initially but since then nothing. I have got on with life, raising my two kids, work, house, dealing with mum’s estate. I feel like there is something inside me that needs to come out, like I can physically feel it, but no matter what I do nothing happens. I can watch sad stuff, read sad things, listen to sad music… Nothing!
I don’t really know what I’m looking for here, perhaps just an outlet. Thanks for listening

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I am so sorry you lost your wee mum, i did too, in April this year suddenly. I was the same, cried so much forst few days then it was like my brain shut down and i went numb. I got on with my job and life as a mum . I wasnt always fully engaged because my brain was in a fog. Then 2.5wks ago the floodgates opened and i was signed off work for bereavement trauma. I could feel the emotions building inside me and they only came out in little bits. I constantly shut them down as family didnt understand, i didnt want to burden friends and i didnt know what else to do. But then it was too much and I burst and it was uncontrollable. It was my time to feel. I am still going through it and will be forever how long it takes…and your time will come and you will go through it.
What you feel and when you feel it is totally personal to you and your grief hun. We all deal with things differently but grief has defined stages, maybe not an order but stages and our brains go a long way to protect us from the trauma of losing loved ones. You need to take time for you. Time to just ‘be’ and to let the feelings come out and not shut them down. Talking on here is a great start and has helped me. You are not alone. X