Evening all, anyone around tonight? I’m
Feeling very low today started ok then just went downhill
Hi cookie1973, sorry to hear you’re having such a bad day, I feel for you. I’m struggling too this week, not sure if it’s because I’m now in double figures…it was 10 weeks ago on Monday when my wonderful husband, Andy, passed away. The enormity of time just stretches out in front of us. Sending you love and a peaceful night xx
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Sorry you’re having a bad day; you think you’re doing ok, then spiral downwards again. Sending hugs.
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Hi. Sorry to hear it was difficult today. It’s been pretty bad for me too. The days seem so long and the evenings so lonely. Sending hugs. 
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My Wife died on 15th July like @Ginger68 ‘s husband. I was strong at first but my days have been gradually been getting worse over the last couple of weeks. I’m eating more and not a particularly well balanced diet it’s hard cooking for one! I feel everyone has now gone back to their lives and I’m pretty much alone mostly. My daughters check in daily but only for a short while & they’ve got my Grandchildren to look after. I eat late, go to bed late & get up late as I’m no longer working. I feel ill through my stomach feeling yuk! I went into town earlier for a couple of hours but I’m sitting on the settee again feeling very sorry for myself and missing my wife to chat to!! Has anyone else felt like this?
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Hi Derek I feel the same as you, weekends are the worst
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Hi DerekG, I am further along this journey, I lost my wife in March but what you are experiencing is sadly “normal” at first your time is taken up in the practicalities, trying to do housework, trying to cook for one, trying to do washing all of which, in my case, I am sorry to say, I did not have much experience in, on top of this you have all the disbelief, the constant thoughts going round and round in your head, my daughter kept an eye on me but now its less, I don’t blame or judge her for this, it’ s just that i am pretty convincing that I am “coping” as I don’t want to add to her sadness, I have 2 or 3 good friends and relatives who are really supportive, some have disappeared some haven’t got a clue.
Eating easy crap, perfectly normal but you will get better at cooking and hopefully eat better! I hated going out, even shopping, and felt more comfortable at home, others are the exact opposite, just do whatever is the most comfortable/comforting. I have retired (late) 2 years ago but have lot to do in the garden which is (not “was”) a passion for both of us so I feel a need to keep this up, like you, I tend to go to bed late and at first it was to watching the telly on a laptop, I no longer need to do that every night but it took me six months! getting up late was also a bit of a problem but I found that was the worst time for torturing yourself with incessant recurring thoughts that serve no purpose, going over and over things that you cannot change, so now I try to make myself get up, trying to have a routine.
Slowly you will get through the hours, then the days, then the weeks and now for me it has been months. You do get the feeling that it gets worse but actually i don’t think its worse, it is different and I say this because I kept a journal and have looked back and cannot believe I was in such a desperate, dark place, you don’t get over “it” but you do learn to cope better, you have many relapses and I think this is what makes it feel as if things are getting worse.
It is a long long painful journey, you will miss her like hell and that is probably the hardest thing to deal with, post here as much as you like, people on her do understand and will respond, as we all say, little steps, minute by minute and then hour by hour, nobody believes things will get better but it will, it will never be right but you will cope so have faith!
Take care and look after yourself.
Thanks @swift, What you wrote could have been me totally!! This week I’ve pushed myself a bit harder and have been leaving sticky notes on the Fridge/Freezer to get me going. I aim to get 50% done each day etc… Everything is a slow process but it’s nice to know I’m not the only person in the same boat… Thanks again for lifting me up a bit 
Yes, I also have almost no appetite like there’s a whole in my stomach. Going to sleep late, waking up late , and able to do much of anything. My very best friend is very close to the end. He has been there almost every day since 1993.
Having a difficult time… Also have surgery coming up and very afraid- NOT a good patient.
You are NOT alone though it may feel like that. I feel the same way
@oceanso Yes it’s really horrible isn’t it! I eat small dinners now (force myself) as I know that if I don’t I’ll make myself ill. The upcoming surgery is to heal your body and painful as it is to go back into hospital you’ll come out better and will recover. As we get older we encounter more people passing away. Since Mid July I’ve lost another friend and I’m only 61! You will get through it! If it’s hard, message us! We all know the feelings you’re going through! As for sleep, it’s a hard one to get out of! I’m doing it bit by bit - going to bed 15 minutes earlier! It’s a start but I’m slowly going in the right direction. Some days it doesn’t work but keep trying like I am and you’ll get there! Keep talking to everyone on the site too as we understand the pain more than anyone else!
I am the same my hubby passed just over a week ago,l have to eat as i am diabetic but don’t want to,just want to stay in bed all day,have to get up to feed the cat and dog.Everything i do has no meaning,just feel numb.
@Stumpy1 Im really sorry for your loss. It’s so early into the grieving process for you & everything will be numb for time to come. At this stage there’s nothing wrong with staying in bed and not wanting to do anything. However would our other half’s want to see us like that? Please make sure you eat! So easy to not eat but for you it’s a must! Try and get out and busy yourself even if it’s just for an hour! Write a list like I did (still do) If you get 50% done feel pleased that you done something! They can be small things around the house if that’s what you can face!
It will get better slowly…. It’s a horrible place to be…… there’s lot of us who are happy to chat! We all know what you’re saying & feeling! Keep in touch and I hope you slowly learn to accept what’s happened, horrible as it is isn’t it! You like all of us are still doing it gradually….
Derek, Thank you for your understanding and support! I’m happy to hear you are getting more strength and improving.
It’s hard to go out… and be around people
Pain I have walking and standing.
Not motivated.
Let’s stay in touch