My wife died aged 58 on 23 March. We had been married 35 years.
Liz had a diagnosis of cancer of unknown primary and we knew that could mean only a matter of months to live. I thought we would be ready but when death came it was alarmingly quick.
I hate the feeling of loneliness the fact that I can’t discuss things with her and do things together. Every day I try to put off thinking about her but that is making me anxious. I feel,that I m brewing up problems. I have a history of mental health problems.
Are there any survival techniques that I should be exploiting?
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Sorry for your loss. Losing a spouse/partner is one of the most difficult things to have to endure. You don’t just lose the person, part of you goes with them as well. Do you have family or friends you can lean on? You’re only a very short time into grief. I’m seven months in now, after losing my partner suddenly, and I still find coping difficult. Perhaps you could see your GP as you’ve mentioned previous mental health issues. Trying not to think of it is probably not very healthy in the long term as you can’t really postpone grief, It’s always around the next corner. Keep posting on here, everyone is very understanding.
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Hi Richardoyak, my wife died of cancer 4 months ago. After 40 years growing together as one to have the other half ripped away leaves a mess. I have found that doing a lot of exercise and walking beneficial as apart from helping to sleep it is a positive for your mind as well. It was also a way of channeling the pain into something that wasn’t destructive. I joined a bereavement group which is useful as well as posting on this site where everyone understands how you feel.
Wishing you all the best
Tom 
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Thanks for getting in touch.
I feel I need to be alone to grieve. When others are around I feel I have to be normal. I know from my mental illness that being alone and disconnected is not good.
I am sat here on my own for a bit writing this and the tears are rolling down my cheeks but as soon as I meet someone ,even my daughter, I know I will have to snap out of it.
As you say it is early days yet.
All the best to you.
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Hello, my husband passed away March 21, im also very distraught, crying all the time, and being alone is devastating, and when my son and daughter visit I hafta pretend im doing ok, I don’t want them worrying about me, they’re also grieving, but as the wife I’ve lost my life partner my best friend, facing an uncertain future, nothing seems to matter anymore, I feel like what is the point of anything, I try yo keep busy during the day, but nothing truly distracts me, I just miss him so much, we were married for 35 years,
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I recognise your observations about children. I have a son in The Netherlands and a daughter more close to home. Both have their own partners. I feel I have to be OK for them which reinforces how much I don’t like my own company as that is when I become so sad and distressed.
I am on holiday with my daughter at the moment and am dreading coming home to the house on my own.
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Hi Richard
I am so sorry for your loss it is one of the hardest times we have to go through and some of us do it alone and that’s when the mental health comes into it i lost my husband 5yrs ago and I find it a lonely world without him I feel he should still be here a d we should be doing all the things we would be doing together especially weekends and bank holidays just been through one and then there is one at the end off the month just wish I could take myself off somewhere but its not the same on your own .
Sweetlady
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You are welcome to chat with me.
Been on my own now foe a numbering years and I battle with loneliness too. At this age most people are still together ans being alone so much is tiring and lonely… not going to lie. Happy to become a penpal if it helps. Haven’t managed to find conpanions near my age. I have a 83 yr old friend but I am 25yrs his junior! Different.
Hi do my best
That would be lovely to have a friend to.chat with i know its difficult finding a companion our age i am 69yrs old and most men want a nice young lady and I am not that I put weight on and men do.not like that which is such a shame I may not be young I may not be thin i may not be beautiful but inside me is this beautiful soul and if people got to know me they would find that out .
Sweetlady