Feel so alone

I lost my mum on the 19th of December 22 she had Ms I have also lost my dad back in 1994 … I just feel so lost when my dad died I was only 15 years old this time losing my mum it hurts so much more it’s unbearable the pain… my mum lived with me and my husband it’s always been me and my mum I’m lucky I have a husband that understands and got on so well with my mum. I just feel like it’s a dream that I’m going to wake up from I have the same dream every night … I just feel so lost … I do have two children one 12 one 4 years old they are keeping me going as I don’t have a big family at all I have a brother and he is married and has two children but he too is finding it so hard . Mum was such a fighter she never gave up without a fight but this time she had had enough she came from from hospital and was only back home with me five days before she passed away I looked after her along with carers help I wouldn’t have done anything different I just wish she was here. I listen to her voicemail messages over and over again … I’m not sure how I’m going to cope when we have the funeral…


deeply sorry. you have no choice but to go through this terrible chapter in life.

we all must endure this loss.

if you have your family around you, you will manage.

this mother loss is huge. after five years, I am much better but it took that long.

:heartpulse: :heartpulse: :heartpulse:

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So sorry for your loss it is very hard be kind to yourself.

Hi @Louise18

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. Thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you’re feeling. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

You may also find the following Sue Ryder resources helpful:

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please do keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take good care,


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I lost my dad on the same day as your mum. Christmas was a numbing experience and even now I’m not too sure how I am functioning. I was really close to my dad and he lived with me too although he passed in hospital and the circumstances wasn’t comforting. I smell the scarf he used to wear. I kiss his photo and can’t stop thinking about him. All day, every day. I’m trying to organise a funeral that’s joyful and reflective of the man he was but also trying to cope with the empty hole that will never be filled. I too, have no idea how I’m going to get through his funeral.

I am very sorry. I know how hard it is.

Take it easy on yourself for a long time to come. It is hard and you need to become your own best friend. But in my experience, he will be there. My father was talking to me after he passed, telling me how to proceed without him. I hope you experience this too. It was a huge help to me. Take care … :heartpulse:

Oh Louise I am the same as you I lost my mum on Dec 30th after coming home from hospital 3 weeks previous I am in the most terrible unbearable pain like you I dont know where to turn sometimes. There are no words i can say to you to ease the pain so I am not going to try because I know like me nothing helps.
I too am dreading my mums funeral and today I had to register her death at the registrar office and just cried whilst in there it was real but so unreal. I thought i was in a nightmare and kept pinching myself to convince myself it was real and she had really gone. I too just want to go with her.
I did everything with my mum and retired 10 yrs ago so i could spend even more time with her which I did and we everything I can possibly think about eg travelling ,shopping ,theatre trips , spa days you name it we did it. Lost now is not the word and doesn’t even come close to how I am feeling. Unlike you my son is grown up so doesn’t need me like your little ones do. You have to keep strong for them and I know you will. They will be your saving grace because little children have a wonderful way of giving unconditional love and you will in return to them. What I am trying to say is they will help you through all this without even knowing they are helping you. Like me you had your mum at home and i also had carers who were pallitive care carers and wonderful. I had quality time to spend as her daughter whilst the carers did what they had to. I have found this site so welcoming and for the first time i haven’t felt alone. No matter what you post someone will reply to you and be there for you with such comforting words. Just reading other peoples posts sometimes helps me . Keep posting because we are all here going through the same thing but at different stages I will check on you again tom Thinking of you ok Deb x