Hi everyone.
I’m new to this site and I’m hoping it will help me in some way.
I had two wonderful loving elderly parents last year. My Mum was 90 and was quite frail and had Parkinson’s Disease and my Dad was 88 and struggled a bit himself but he continued to be my Mum’s Main Carer. He was amazing actually. I lived an hour away from them but saw them as much as I could and helped them when I visited. Dad was a very proud man and wanted to be as independent as was possible and both him and Mum lived in their house right up until the end.
Early hours of 9th November last year, I got a phone call from paramedics saying that Dad had fallen in the bedroom and couldn’t get up and seemed somewhat unwell and they were taking both him and Mum to hospital together as they were also concerned for her too (why my Dad hadn’t rung me straightaway, I shall never really know) and so I made my way over to the hospital to be with them.
To cut a long story short, my Dad was apparently extremely poorly and none of us knew. He had a type of pneumonia and one of his lungs was completely filled with fluid. His kidneys had started to fail and then the rest of his organs began to shut down. He passed away 4 days later.
Mum then deteriorated pretty quickly herself and dementia kicked in, it was all the trauma and shock I expect. She lasted a further 3 weeks.
I cannot describe the past couple of months. I haven’t the words to explain how I’m feeling. Shock at how quickly everything happened, it’s all been an absolute horrendous nightmare. I’ve a horrible empty feeling and feel sick to my stomach most days. I feel like I’m going around in a bubble. Tears will come from nowhere and some days I feel I can’t cope.
From having two parents to then losing them both in the space of 3 weeks is just too much to bear.
Hello pie, so sorry for your losses. To lose your parents so suddenly is so heartbreaking and sad. My mum left in October, about 14 weeks ago and she had pneumonia, kidney and liver issues which all took a toll on her and she left 4 days after being admitted in hospital. She was 89; the only solace I take from that is she lived a full life and her pain and suffering ended. To grieve is our final responsibility for our parents who left us, but also left many good memories and lessons in life. I hope you can find some peace of mind sharing on this forum. My heart goes out to you.
I’ve lost both my parents too, but I can’t even imagine the shock and pain of losing them so close together. I feel so much for you and I’m so incredibly sorry for what has happened. This is a good place to vent any and all emotions and find others who can relate. Sending you love and strength.
and so close together. I have lost mine so I understand. I can say that your parents were together their whole lives and essentially passed away together, what a marriage.
we all shall go. they went together. the hard part is what has happened to you.
these losses are so hard. after 8 years, I still come on here and I still mourn my beloved mother and father, daily. I was an old child.
I wish you the best. counseling helped me and in-person grief groups helped a lot. only those freshly grieving understood me.
Hello
I’m sorry to hear of your loss
I know the feeling of emptiness all to well after my mum left me. It’s an unbearable pain that never gets easier. I just found a way to cope but you’ll always hold them in your heart just keep the memories all the good ones it’ll keep you going. Sorry my advise isn’t much help and as much as I hold my own memories of my mum it’s never nowhere near enough to keep my pain at bay. I just live in hope I’ll be with my mum one day
