Feel so lost

I feel so lost I lost my finance suddenly yesterday morning. We had only been together for 2 years and our time was cut short. It feels like I’m in a nightmare. We were planning our wedding I’m 39 and he was 43 his birthday is the end of the month. I lost my dad 22 years ago but this is different I’ve lost my soul mate and best friend


So sorry don’t know I what to just sayi; my husband November passed 16 moth ago life’s will never be the same lv annie x x


I’m so sorry @MichelleZ, I wish there was something I could say that would ease the pain your in right now. Just take each day as it comes, you will get through it but it’s going to take time. We’ve all been on that journey, just keep talking, reaching out and we will all be there to support you.
Sending you love and a huge hug.
Debbie X


Thank you all I’ve lost a parent 22 years ago but this is harder when he was my best friend and soul mate and only got two years with him


Dear Michelle,
I’m so sorry for your sudden loss.
There’s a sense of unreality and feeling like a robot at first- the shock takes a toll on our bodies and minds. So do get friends and family to look after you and help you. Losing a parent and losing an intimate partner are very different losses- I’ve lost both my parents who I loved very much, but sadly, we do expect that our parents will at some point leave us.
Our partners/husbands/wives are our whole life, our motivation when times are tough, our adviser, our best friend, our confidante, our champion cuddler, our future and our happiness, and we dont expect them to leave us. These things are what Sunny was to me. He died last year at 57. We were just getting our future on track and loved each other very much. I don’t know whether I’ll ever be happy again but after 11 months of the grief so far, I have just a couple of snippets of advice.

Let the people who offer to help you, help. These people, the ones who actually come through for you, are the shiny diamonds :gem: in your life. Hold on to them tight.

If you are struggling with getting through the days, put some structure in your day. If you’re working, work. Write lists of things to tick off. Go for a walk. Go for a swim. Meet a friend for coffee. Clean out the jumbled mess in that cupboard. Paint the shed. Plant some beautiful flowers. Do stuff. It does help a little.

If possible, have an animal in your life. My sister who lives 120 miles away lent me her mini Daschund, so little Benji came and had two little city breaks at my house, which I think he liked. Having another heartbeat in the house, hearing him pad around, and having him come and snuggle in on my lap, actually helped save me in the first few months.

Do not let anyone, ANYONE, tell you ever, that there’s a time by which you should be ‘over it’, or ‘moving on’, or try to tell you how long your grief should last. Your grief is your grief, and you’ll find on here that people experience all the thoughts and feelings you’ll have, and will understand.

With love

Sophie x


@Sophie26 thank you so much for your kind words


So sorry for your loss, and at such a young age too. I lost my soulmate suddenly a few months after we’d celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. It’s tough, it really is, my heart goes out to you. I’m finding this lovely community here a comforting safe place to pour my heart out. I hope you will too.

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