I lost my husband 9 weeks ago he wasnt ill or anything called me in the morning to say he felt a bit funny and was coming home from work an hour later i had police at the door to say he had had a major heart attack at the wheel 4 mins away from home and was gone. Since then it feels like life has no purpose and im purely existing day to day like groundhog day. We never had children due to the age gap im 39 he was 61 but we have 2 dogs that we called our fur babies i feel if they wernt here relying on me for care i wouldnt be here anymore either
Sarah892, sending you love and strength. Im sat with my fur baby right now. I hope yours give you some comfort. This is tough to have your husband taken so suddenly. I had time to adjust and say goodbye and still feel hit by a truck. Take each day as it comes and take strength from everyone on here. You are not alone. xxx
Oh I’m so sorry this must’ve been such a shock for you. My Mum passed away 3 months ago and my Dad is really struggling, he says what kind of life does he have now. My Mum had illnesses for a while but was told the day she died she was getting better. I think how your feeling is all part of the grieving process and I think it’s best to let it happen. It’ was like waves of emotion for me. I now try not to think too much only the happy times and feel her with me. I hope you feel better soon if that is even the right word xx
Difficult times ahead Like you my partner died recently and I am struggling with my grief Try to live in the moment and do small things to restore yourself Exercise in nature eat healthy food will help you Be patient with yourself Grief is process accept it Get the support you need don’t blame yourself for everything it won’t help
@Sarah892 same for me, 5 weeks ago, so very sudden, heart attack followed by cardiac arrest. It’s so heart breaking, he was my soulmate, my love, my best friend. He was only 68 and I’m 52. Feeling for you.
@Sarah892 my partner was 49, he went to on a bike ride with his mates like usual, nothing was off, except he had slept a lot the week before. As he had just completed Ofsted we put it down to that. He was usually home by 1 but by half 2 the police were at my door explaining he had a massive cardiac arrest. He died instantly. Our lives changed forever. The shock is still with me. The trauma of ringing his and my family and their reactions will haunt me forever. I wanted to die to be with him and to stop the pain as it was horrific. I hurt so so bad a real physical pain that wouldn’t shift. I screamed and wailed.
Anyway, I realized that nothing I did or said or anyone did or said was going to make a difference, even now everything I do that I think will help doesn’t.
I realized that I was the only on who could help me, I needed to walk through it, take it all on the chin. Get back to work, get out there or life was going to be pretty miserable for me.
6½ months for me and I’m doing ok. I still have bad days, I cry most days but it’s brief, over a memory or something we should be doing. But it’s not all consuming or dark anymore. I have occasional days where I sob and woe is me, but not as often.
Life goes on and I’m doing ok. It’s different but I can laugh with the girls, go out, go away. Which I never thought I’d be able to do.
I know there are people who are in a far worse situation than me, financially, emotionally and physically and that all contributes to how we move on.
It’s shut but it’s doable and it will never be the same but life goes go on, it doesn’t stop and for whatever reason, it’s not our time to go yet so we have to live. Sorry that got a bit long there.
I too lost my husband recently. We had no children and no fur babies. I have mobility issues so am basically stuck in the house. We have to live day by day until it gets better which I am assured it will. My thoughts are with you. Hug your fur babies for me. Xx
Two and a half years ago I received the dreaded knock on the door too.
The first year was disbelief, the second is reality. But you can learn to live alongside the grief. You have to - as many on here are proof.
Agree with everything you say Ali29 it’s up to me – but just recently I hit a low point. “Feeling worthless”. My head felt like the tangle of wires behind the TV
I rang cruse yesterday and had an online chat - just needed to talk out loud - it’s something you can do better with a stranger rather than family or friends. The lovely woman took time to listen to me, just getting things off my chest helped - the wires aren’t so tangled this morning!