I have looked for counselling online, no luck yet as our NHS has waiting lists. I’m unable to fund any help at the moment. I’m just hoping with small steps I can get through these anxious times. I’m trying to get out, I just break down alot when I do. Thank you for your kind words. This site really helps me and reassures me I’m not alone in this.
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Thank you so much for your support. I will carry on trying small steps to alleviate the anxiety. I find this site a real help comfort. We are all trying to navigate this heartbreaking time. Sending hugs to you.
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I completely agree with you. Work for me is an outlet as Carl was never at work with me, I find it easier when I’m busy at work. @LJ.G I really feel for you, I am so, so sorry, it must be horribly difficult for you. Stay strong and keep working through things; I think that’s all any of us can do. Sending love xxx
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Thank you, I shall keep reading your posts as they do help me. I just need more strength to work through all of this. 
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Suggest you ask your neighbor to illustrate how to do it correctly. That may motivate him to help more
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I lost my husband last June and one of my dogs last week. The latter brought much of the grief back from losing my husband back up (not that I was over it) and my grief counselor assures me this is a normal reaction. I feel rudderless as, like you, I defined myself in terms of husband, dogs and work. I retired 2 years ago and am not sorry but it did mean another loss of identity. A big help is that a friend recommended a handyman who has made my life much easier in terms of keeping up the house. Another friend recommended someone to mow the lawn and I know of a very good landscaper. It means juggling money carefully but am using them until I get my mind back and feel more comfortable doing some of these things on my own. Feel a great sense of accomplishment when I do!
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Hello and hugs. My husband passed last July and I had to have our dog put to sleep 3 weeks ago. I feel so lost and alone. It would be my husbands birthday tomorrow so feeling even worse.
I feel for you and send hugs. I guess we just have to hang on in there and hope for better times.
Christine 
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Hi Christine I’m really sorry to hear about your situation. Having everything hitting at the same time is really difficult. I understand that you must be feeling sad about your dog as my wife would always go through a lot of pain when ever one her dogs died. She left me with two who I promised to hug and look after.
Wishing you all the strength you need
Tom
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What a beautiful picture, they look so happy together x
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Hi Peg that photo was her dog Brandon that died of a heart condition but he was 14 so not a bad age. These two are the ones I’m still looking after one is 11 and the small one is 8 both adopted
Have a lovely afternoon
Tom
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That really is grim and yet you’re here, as a survivor. Good for you and I genuinely believe better times will eventually occur
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Hey Christine, I am so, so sorry for both your losses. It’s just so unbelievably painful and one loss just seems to compound the other. Like you, I’m still just trying to process and come to terms with everything, it just seems quite surreal somehow. I sometimes feel like I’m living a story in a book or film and it’s not quite true, then the realisation hits that it is, this is my life now and I have to learn to navigate it somehow. Sometimes I feel like I’m coping really well, then I break again and just crumble. As you say, I guess we all just have to find our way with whatever balance works for us. Sending love and thoughts xxx
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This is such a beautiful photo xxx
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Thanks Nooca she really loved her dogs .
I hope you have a peaceful evening
Tom
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I know exactly how you feel, I lost my wife September last year, and I thought after Xmas and new year things would ease a bit, but it’s not like a broken leg after 6 months that heals, our loss will never heal, I’m back at work and I now don’t like driving home after work on Fridays, I used to get a phone call asking what will we do tonight, go out for a meal, get a take away with a couple of drinks, now I go home and just sit and break my heart still
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Sending you hugs. It is so tough 
.
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I know exactly how you feel. I always looked forward to Fridays, where we’d call one another and decide what to do. Usually it involved making a curry, having a few beers, listening to some of our favourite music and chatting non stop into the early hours. Now it’s just heartache as Ray passed away on a Friday evening.
It’s hell living like this. Almost 6 months for me and I’m so broken at his loss.
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I don’t look forward to weekends now either, we used to drive out somewhere or go to a friend’s house. It’s just so lonely 
. My friends are lovely and mean well but ultimately I have to come home alone again.y stomach is always in knots. I am sending hugs to you. I did force myself to take a short walk today though, it was tough but otherwise I get stuck indoors all week. I’m really trying to get out when I can. I still can’t go to work though, it’s hard. Lots of love
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Hi Christine
I am so sorry for your loss losses ,coming up to your husband’s birthday. So many trigger dates . I hope you get through the day as well as you can. I lost my elderly dog a month ago ,5 months after losing my husband. It seemed to fetch some many things back to the surface. I do still have another dog he 16 months old and has certainly kept me going. Look after yourself
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Hi Peg I know what you mean about Fridays how we used to look forward to the weekend even if we were going to be around the house it was so comfortable. Now I look forward to Monday, I was already getting an uncomfortable sensation that the weekend is coming soon and it’s still Thursday. I’ll have to get my walking boots on try and walk off this bad feeling. It’s also going to snow again here. At least it’s forecasted. This winter is neverending.
All the best
Tom
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